Salma Hayek has objectively been a Hollywood babe for almost 30 years now and is also a bona fide billionaire-by-injection, so given her sex symbol status and mountains of cash, it would be easy for her to decide to be swimming in hair dye or wigs and good plastic surgery in perpetuity. However, 56-year-old Salma took to social media with a close-up of her face that showcased her silvering strands and a few wrinkles (both of which no one would have ever noticed if her altruistic, magnificent chi-chis were also in the photo).
Two carpets, both alike in dignity
(In fair Hollywood, where we lay our scene),
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil shoes make civil rugs unclean.
It’s crazy how those words by William Shakespeare are still as true today as they were in 1996 when we finally understood them thanks to Baz Luhrmann‘s Romeo + Juliet. And this morning, as the sun rose over the detritus of last night’s Oscars celebrations, one carpet emerged victorious and unblemished by the unsightly stains of blood and mud and whatever it was that Fine Ass Jonathan Majors had in his tiny silver sipping cup. For reasons we may only understand after Baz makes a movie about it, after weeks of torrential rain, the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences decided this was the year to break with a 64-year tradition and pull the Red Carpet out from under our feet in exchange for a Champagne Industrial Rug. For revenge, Florence Pugh could barely be bothered to dress for the big event so she just brushed her ponytail to the front and grabbed a beige duvet cover out of the dirty laundry for the Oscars, saving her pink comforter for the Blue Carpet at the Vanity Fair after party.
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” Featuring Salma Hayek In The Role Originally Played By Thandiwe Newton
Cast your memory back to February of this year. It was the best of times (somebody gave Nick Cannon a vending machine full of condoms), it was the worst of times (he never used them), it was an age of wisdom (Channing Tatum said he almost didn’t do Magic Mike 3 for the sake of his health), it was the age of foolishness (Thandiwe Newton dropped out of MM3 after reportedly fighting with Channing over The Oscar’s Slap). And because the good and wise times hence have gone unheeded, Nick’s expecting baby #12, and we now have the first trailer for Magic Mike’s Last Dance in which Salma Hayek doffs Thandiwe’s fedora and brushes Channing’s “well-defined six-pack.” It’s as if we’ve learned nothing in all this time, yet somehow, simultaneously, we found the meaning of life. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Magical Michael and his merry band of manly men may just make horny believers of us all.
Billie Eilish And Her Boyfriend Jesse Rutherford Made Their Red Carpet Debut At The LACMA Art + Film Gala
A successful, independent young woman like Billie Eilish can’t be expected to go around twinning with her brother every time she’s got a red carpet event to dress for. In fact, it starts to look a little weird after a while. Billie seems to understand that now and used the annual LAMCA Art + Film Gala to take the opportunity to make her twinning red carpet debut with her boyfriend, The Neighbourhood frontman Jesse Rutherford. Unfortunately, Billie chose the wrong event because there was another set of twins on the red carpet that not only completely eclipsed the stars in attendance, but they also eclipsed the very moon and sun that shine above. Sure Billie and Jesse looked cute shrouded in a Gucci comforter over matching Gucci pajamas, but even one unprotected glance at Salma Hayek’s twin gaseous orbs has the power to render the viewer blind.
Thandiwe Newton Has Left “Magic Mike’s Last Dance,” Denies She Was Fired Over A Fight With Channing Tatum About The Oscars Slap
Some fuckery is afoot on the set of Magic Mike’s Last Dance, the Magic Mike sequel, which is currently filming in London with Thandiwe Newton as the romantic lead opposite Channing Tatum. According to Variety, Thandiwe suddenly decided to step down, and Salma Hayek will be taking her place. The Sun reported that Thandiwe was fired by Channing, who is also a producer, after they got into it on set over The Slap at the Oscars of all things, causing the situation between them to become “untenable.” I know Will Smith really put his back into slapping Chris Rock, but damn, I cannot believe that shit is still echoing all the way across the pond! However, The Independent reports that Thandiwe denies The Sun’s report, and, in a statement, said she “made the difficult decision to step away” to “deal with family matters.” Sounds fishy, to be sure. But whatever the case, I’m sure the MM3 costume department took a look at the news circling the water cooler this morning and muttered “we’re gonna need a bigger bra.”
Seems like Lady Gaga is trying to get some bonus points towards that Oscar she’s clearly desperate for because she’s once again talking about the love scene with Salma Hayek which ended up cut from House of Gucci. The scene got cut by director Ridley Scott and was suggested by Gaga in the first place, but that’s the whole point! Do you see?! She really goes there, she takes risks! Gaga is an artiste, and just because you didn’t get to see it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t get brownie points for doing the work, okay?!