Category: Salma Hayek

Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” Featuring Salma Hayek In The Role Originally Played By Thandiwe Newton

November 15, 2022 / Posted by:

Cast your memory back to February of this year. It was the best of times (somebody gave Nick Cannon a vending machine full of condoms), it was the worst of times (he never used them), it was an age of wisdom (Channing Tatum said he almost didn’t do Magic Mike 3 for the sake of his health), it was the age of foolishness (Thandiwe Newton dropped out of MM3 after reportedly fighting with Channing over The Oscar’s Slap). And because the good and wise times hence have gone unheeded, Nick’s expecting baby #12, and we now have the first trailer for Magic Mike’s Last Dance in which Salma Hayek doffs Thandiwe’s fedora and brushes Channing’s “well-defined six-pack.” It’s as if we’ve learned nothing in all this time, yet somehow, simultaneously, we found the meaning of life. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Magical Michael and his merry band of manly men may just make horny believers of us all.

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Billie Eilish And Her Boyfriend Jesse Rutherford Made Their Red Carpet Debut At The LACMA Art + Film Gala

November 7, 2022 / Posted by:

A successful, independent young woman like Billie Eilish can’t be expected to go around twinning with her brother every time she’s got a red carpet event to dress for. In fact, it starts to look a little weird after a while. Billie seems to understand that now and used the annual LAMCA Art + Film Gala to take the opportunity to make her twinning red carpet debut with her boyfriend, The Neighbourhood frontman Jesse Rutherford. Unfortunately, Billie chose the wrong event because there was another set of twins on the red carpet that not only completely eclipsed the stars in attendance, but they also eclipsed the very moon and sun that shine above. Sure Billie and Jesse looked cute shrouded in a Gucci comforter over matching Gucci pajamas, but even one unprotected glance at Salma Hayek’s twin gaseous orbs has the power to render the viewer blind.

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Thandiwe Newton Has Left “Magic Mike’s Last Dance,” Denies She Was Fired Over A Fight With Channing Tatum About The Oscars Slap

April 14, 2022 / Posted by:

Some fuckery is afoot on the set of Magic Mike’s Last Dance, the Magic Mike sequel, which is currently filming in London with Thandiwe Newton as the romantic lead opposite Channing Tatum. According to Variety, Thandiwe suddenly decided to step down, and Salma Hayek will be taking her place. The Sun reported that Thandiwe was fired by Channing, who is also a producer, after they got into it on set over The Slap at the Oscars of all things, causing the situation between them to become “untenable.” I know Will Smith really put his back into slapping Chris Rock, but damn, I cannot believe that shit is still echoing all the way across the pond! However, The Independent reports that Thandiwe denies The Sun’s report, and, in a statement, said she “made the difficult decision to step away” to “deal with family matters.” Sounds fishy, to be sure. But whatever the case, I’m sure the MM3 costume department took a look at the news circling the water cooler this morning and muttered “we’re gonna need a bigger bra.” 

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Lady Gaga Talks More About Her “Love Scene” With Salma Hayek That Got Cut From “House Of Gucci”

January 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Seems like Lady Gaga is trying to get some bonus points towards that Oscar she’s clearly desperate for because she’s once again talking about the love scene with Salma Hayek which ended up cut from House of Gucci. The scene got cut by director Ridley Scott and was suggested by Gaga in the first place, but that’s the whole point! Do you see?! She really goes there, she takes risks! Gaga is an artiste, and just because you didn’t get to see it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t get brownie points for doing the work, okay?!

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The Critical Consensus Is That “House of Gucci” Needed To Pick A Lane

November 23, 2021 / Posted by:

Ridley Scott Eats Own Hat might be a headline we see tomorrow after all those “apathetic millennialswho skipped The Last Duel turn around and flock to the theaters to see Lady Gaga go full Eyetalian in House of Gucci. According to Mashable, the critics are still torn about the film’s overall quality but everyone agrees that “Lady Gaga’s performance is something to behold,” the collective shade of which is the biggest gain we’ve had in combating global warming to date. That’s camp baby, that’s millennial catnip right there. Unmoisturized Matt Damon not so much. But most importantly, the consensus seems to be that the “outsized performances” in HOG make it, at the very least, “entertaining,” thus buying the Calderone glacier a little more time before it melts completely into the Adriatic sea.

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The First Reactions To “House Of Gucci” Are All Over The Place

November 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Method actress Lady Gaga‘s next Oscar vehicle, House of Gucci, comes out on November 24 and recently had its UK premiere. A lot of critic-types have already seen it and Variety says that the social media embargo recently lifted on the film, meaning they were free to talk shit about it on Twitter–which people did. And much like the hammed-up accents in the movie, it seems that reactions to the film are all over the place.

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