Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…
The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.
Matthew Perry is promoting his new memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, and, so far, he’s shared some pretty grim details about his addiction. Last week he revealed that his opioid addiction led to a ruptured colon that almost killed him. Yesterday we learned he’d spent almost $9 million getting sober. Today, in an excerpt published by The Times of London, Matthew tells the tale of his failed romance with one-time Friends guest star
the Holiday Armadillo Julia Roberts. Awesome, free PR for Julia’s new movie!
Throughout the 80s and 90s, Julia Roberts was a rom-com queen, starring in rom-coms like Pretty Woman, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Runaway Bride, I Love Trouble, Notting Hill, American’s Sweethearts, etc… But Julia took a long break from bringing the cheese for a giant check. And now she’s back! Julia’s next movie, Ticket to Paradise, which also stars George Clooney, comes out later this year, and it’s her first time as a lead in a rom-com in 20 years. Why? Because Julia says that the scripts she was given the last two decades were shitty! Hmmm… curious… and yet she co-starred in Mother’s Day in 2016? Hmmm, welp the check they gave her must have been worth the script! But was it worth that wig?
The “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” Reading Gave Us A Jerk-Off Scene Featuring Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston
The dreams of any remaining TEAM ANISTON t-shirt owners had already come true last month when it was reported that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt would reunite for a live at-home reading of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. As promised, Jen and Brad reunited last night on Zoom for the Fast Times reading, to benefit Sean Penn’s CORE charity. And Brad and Jen must have been feeling extra charitable because they gave everyone at home an image for the ages by recreating the Phoebe Cates/Judge Reinhold jerk-off scene.
Scarlett Johansson woke up this morning and was fuming after seeing that Julia Roberts trended last night because it was revealed that Julia had been one Hollywood executive’s first choice to play black slavery abolitionist, Harriet Tubman. Well, I have good news for you, Scarlett. This actually happened a long time ago. I’m sure now you were second choice after Cynthia Erivo. Next time!
In Pretty Woman, a film that just turned 30 years old, Julia Roberts plays the cleanest, most carefree hooker in the world who stumbles across a rich man and lets loose in high society as a new woman for the low rental price of $3,000. At the base, it’s Cinderella with fuck-me boots. Fast forward to 2019 and Julia believes that in this current climate of sexual politics, a film like Pretty Woman would never fly.