Beyond The Boring Ass Black Suit: Lil Nas X Served Silver Nalgas And Pedro Pascal Gave Us Leg At The Met Gala
Since the Met Gala’s theme this year was a tribute to Kunty Karl, who was the overlord of Chanel for decades, there were more pearl necklaces than a bukkake convention and enough lace to pull David’s Bridal out of bankruptcy. There was also a sea of basic black suits since many dudes just rolled out of bed and into a boring ensemble their assistant picked up for them the day before at Brooks Brothers. But not every dude showed up dressed like they were going to a funeral (which was fitting since the real star of the Met Gala was born and died last night).
Billy Porter is usually the Maestro of Over-The-Top Fashun Foolery at the Met Gala, but he sat out this year. But luckily, Lil Nas X grabbed Billy’s sparkly baton and moistened tips by doing himself up like Liberace’s answer to the Tin Man. And Pedro Pascal also gave everyone a case of the tingles by simply showing off his slutty daddy legs.
Up until ten minutes ago, all I knew about Baz Luhrmann was that he’s Australian and makes visually loud films. I didn’t know what he looked like, how old he was, or his sexuality. Turns out the answers are: unnaturally smooth, 60 years old, and straight. It’s that last one that we’re focusing on today, cuz, according to People, Baz’s 19-year-old daughter, Lilly Luhrmann, went on the podcast Under the Gloss and talked about how everyone were always speculating about her father’s sexuality. She says that, as a 10-year-old, the reaction confused her, and it was the first time she noticed “something was amiss” with her life. She was a (gasp) nepo baby!
Elvis left the building for the last time way back in 1977 but nobody knew where he went until three years ago when he heard Baz Lurhman was making a biopic about him and crawled up Austin Butler’s ass for one last chance at fame and fortune. And as we heard in Austin’s Golden Globes acceptance speech for Elvis, he’s still posted up in there, pulling Austin’s levers like Ratatouille but from the inside. And I get it. I really do. In the afterlife, once you’ve found a warm, comfy celebrity ass to haunt, why would you waste your good spectral energy floating around drive-by-night Las Vegas wedding chapels waiting for Jennifer Lopez to roll through with one of her exes? It’s simply nonsustainable for a ghost as famous, and let’s be real, as vain, as Elvis. And according to Austin’s voice coach, Elvis may never leave.
Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…
The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.
Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis has now been foisted on us (after what seemed like a long few years of “pick me-ass energy” before it was even in the can), and while it’s pulling decent numbers, there’s a glut of other summer box office darlings to compete with like Minions: Rise of Gru and Top Gun: Maverick in theaters now, with other big money makers like Thor: Love and Thunder coming down the pike. However, one thing that may remain with us long after Elvis burns out is an image that Austin Butler, who portrays Elvis throughout his tumultuous life in the film, has bestowed upon us that has now gone viral: “Sweaty Elvis.”
There’s been talk about filmmaker Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis for what seems like a decade already. It started with things like “who will play Elvis Presley?” “What about Priscilla Presley?” “Will the actor who gets the titular role actually have to choke down a peanut butter/bacon/banana sandwich on the toilet during filming?” Maybe that last one was just me. Now that the movie is in the can and we know all of the “whos,” Baz revealed some of the “whys.” People like Ansel Elgort, G-Eazy, Miles Teller and Harry Styles were talked about as possible Elvis-es before the role ultimately went to Austin Butler. Baz recently revealed the rationale behind one candidate getting tossed out: Harry Styles didn’t get it because he’s already Harry Styles.