Yes, that is the look of a baby who is thinking, “So, I’m sitting here in this heavy ass Victorian ass lace ass reproduction gown while my grandaunt has beat me in the glamour department by looking stunning in some Truman Capote gone to Panama cosplay? Fuck this shit, get this itchy doll dress off of me!”
As Britain experiences gale-force winds from all of its citizens vigorously shaking their heads over Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan having the disgusting AUDACITY to make their child’s christening private, even though royal christenings are traditionally private, two-month-old Master Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor was christened today at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. That’s the same place where PHG and Meghan were married, and where PHG was christened in 1984. The royals released two pictures including the Awkward Family Photo above. While everybody worked the same tired stuffy royal drag, Princess Diana’s sister Lady Jane Fellowes changed the entire game by looking like she’s about to solve the shit out of a crime on an island.
Ali Stroker Became The First Actor In A Wheelchair To Be Nominated And Win A Tony (Although, They Didn’t Have A Ramp For Her….)
You know how when someone gets kicked off of a competition reality show, they sometimes say, “Bitch, you haven’t seen the last of me!” I usually roll my eyes at them like, “Well, you’re probably right since I’ll see you working next to me at the dish washing station at Golden Corral after this blog goes bust and I have to get a job there too.” But some who don’t win actually go on to have full-on careers, like Jennifer Hudson, of course, Carla Hall from Top Chef, Katharine McPhee, Clay Aiken, Yaya from Top Model, and Ali Stroker from The Glee Project.
Ali Stroker (“Stroke her? I hardly know her!” – Ali, who definitely hasn’t heard that oh-so-fresh joke before) was runner-up on the second season of The Glee Project, and although she didn’t win, she did guest star on an episode of Glee, and later became the first actor in a wheelchair to perform in a wheelchair on Broadway when she was in the revival of Spring Awakening in 2015. Ali currently plays poly icon and wholesome ho Ado Annie in the reimagining of Oklahoma! on Broadway, and she already made history by getting a Tony nomination, and she made history again last night by winning. And while that was a big win for actors with disabilities, the Tony people won an award in the category of Are You Fucking Serious? by not having a ramp for her to get from the audience to the stage.
Alec Baldwin’s wife, the mother of four of his thoughtful little kittens (I’m sure that’s what he calls them now), and Instagram yoga artiste Hilaria Baldwin posted a bare belly lingerie pic on her usual stomping grounds (or downward dogging-ing grounds I should say) last week with a caption about how she’s pregnant with her fifth child and believes she’s having a miscarriage. Hilaria went on Today (via People) this morning and she’s still not exactly sure whether she is experiencing a miscarriage or not. She also continued sharing her story, fueled by her desire to lessen the stigma around miscarriage and first-term pregnancy. And she also answered to people calling her an attention whore for sharing her thoughts on Instagram.
The Observer made every serious world-renowned journalist ooze thick globs of jealousy from every one of their pores when they landed an interview with the goddess herself, Dame Joan Collins. The Observer sent Sophie Heawood to Joan Collins’ luxurious Beverly Hills palace in the sky to do a long profile on the BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD!!! You can read the entire thing here, but of course, the thing that caused me to throw my fly swatter in the trash was Dame Joan saying that she believes her dead sister Jackie Collins, the BIGGEST AND GREATEST LITERARY GENIUS IN THE WORLD FOREVER AND ALWAYS, has been reincarnated as a fly that follows her around the world. And yes, that is a real picture of the opulent fly who Joan believes is Jackie Collins.
I saw a dude at CVS the other day buying three copies of the same issue of Soap Opera Digest, so I figured print media was having a strident comeback. Alas, that does not seem to be the case. Glamour, one of the women’s magazines at Condé Nast not totally terrorized by Anna Wintour, has been coming out with a print edition each month for close to 80 years. That will all come to a screeching halt after the January edition rolls out next week.
Selena Gomez Needs To Keep This Bootleg Farrah Fawcett Wig Because She Has Never Looked As Glamorous
It’s as if Jessica Alba and Theodore Seville made a baby with stage 2 Kylie Jenner lips who went on to become the forest’s #1 Farrah Fawcett impersonator and that is the greatest compliment you can give anyone.
Selena Gomez released the video for the song that I actually like, Bad Liar (we all know I have shit taste), and it’s a riveting elementary school production of an unauthorized Wonder Years episode with plot twists, bad wigs and the greatest performance from a child since North West acted like she knew who Kanye West was on an episode of Keeping Up the Kartrashians. Selena proves that she’s Nick Jr.’s answer to Meryl Streep, because she can play any role. A fetus-aged Winnie Cooper? Selena can do it! A sleazy principal in a pornstache (who looks more like a 4-year-old boy in costume as a lazy Ned Flanders)? Selena can do it! A gym teacher in an off-brand Laurie Forman from That ’70s Show wig? Selena can do it! A scorned mom in plastic tarantula eyelashes? Selena can do it! Selena can do it all!