Just a quick holy minute after stills from The Eyes of Tammy Faye of Jessica Chastain in sequins-embedded Tammy Faye Bakker drag came out, a trailer has been released and it shows the rise and fall of the Bakkers as Evangelical royalty and Tammy Faye’s transformation into a gay icon. The Eyes of Tammy Faye was directed by Michael Showalter and he wrote Wet Hot American Summer, so he knows camp, but TEoTF isn’t full camp, because producers do not want to scare off Oscar voters and want to make sure that next year, Jessica Chastain is holding her OSCUH up high as her fake lashes hold their Best Supporting Actress OSCUH!
For Vogue’s December issue, Harry Styles became the first dude to do the cover by himself, and in the photo shoot, he wears a couple of dresses and skirts, and those who consider King Louis VIX, Billy Porter, David Bowie, and Richard Simmons style icons were into it. But well, there were those who were really, really bothered like conservative commentator and Kanye West’s political sweetheart Candace Owens who let us all know that she probably rubs it to Gaston’s parts in Beauty and the Beast since Gaston is her opinion of the ideal man. Harry Styles in a dress made Candace Owens declare that we need to bring back “manly men.” Surprisingly, Harry Styles didn’t respond to what Candace Owens said by immediately replacing his dresses, ruffles, and skirts with a chest merkin, Pussy Juice cologne, a “Yeah, It Makes You Look Fat, Now Go Make Me A Sandwich, Woman” t-shirt, and Nascar-brand cargo pants. Instead, Harry responded with a banana and coffee filter sleeves!
A great travesty has occurred on the set of the Medieval Times themed miniseries Glow and Darkness! The ageless queen of stage and screen, Jane Seymour, has been replaced with a younger actress! According to Entertainment Tonight, producers pulled a last minute switcheroo when they told Jane they no longer wanted her to play her character, Eleanor of Aquitaine, at age 25. Jane is 69. This cannot stand. It is time now to demand, with full voice and conviction, JUSTICE FOR JANE!
The only thing Cardi B and Offset love more than breaking up and getting back together is buying Birkin bags. Back in July, Daddy Offset actually gifted little Kulture a $20,000 pink Birkin for her second birthday. People had shit to say about that, and Cardi took to Instagram to defend her husband. Two months later, and the family is once again embroiled in a Birkin controversy.
There were barely any international celebrities, everyone had a mask and the public was hidden away behind a wall. But my god there were beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns illuminated by the waning slant of a glorious Mediterranean sun. The red carpet for the 2020 Venice Film Festival delivered the drama, the fantasy and the eleganza we’ve been missing since the coronavirus came along and slapped us all upside the head like Dominique Deveraux receiving an unwanted gift. However, much like Alexis Carrington, glamour is that bitch who recovers quickly and always rises to the occasion! Well, unless we’re talking about last weekend’s VMAs where glamour took one look around and immediately called back the chauffeur (and slapped the shit out him).
WARNING: If you proceed further, you will not be able to fight the urge to pull out your credit card and run your ass down to the finest boutique in your town (read: the 80s section of Goodwill and the dustiest clothing store in the “trashy” mall that hasn’t been able to sell the sequin bomber jackets they bought off the back of a truck in the early-90s) to recreate this White Rain-encrusted Oklahoma blossom’s entire look. Make sure you have enough room on your Visa. You’ve been warned.
Shelli Landon is one of nine Republicans who is trying to snatch the party’s nomination to represent Oklahoma Congressional District 5 in the U.S. House. I don’t know or care who the other candidates are but I’m guessing they’re in the process of announcing that they’re dropping out of that bitch because there’s no way they have the budget (read: a bootleg copy of Windows Movie Maker, a water-damaged floppy disc of MS Paint from the 80s, a pink can of AquaNet, and an old thing of Mary Kay rouge) to top the 1980s public access brilliance that Shelli Landon served up. It’s fitting that Shelli’s last name is Landon because I fell off my chair and Landon on my ass from the glamour of it all!