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Open Post: Hosted By JLo And A-Rod Using Their Love To Push Sunglasses

March 21, 2019 / Posted by:

I LOVE (eye roll) Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez because they’re both shameless attention whores and using their soon-to-be marital union to make money and get more attention. While other folks would still be lying low after completely destroying classic music forever JLo is hopping back onto the money train and dragging A-Rod along for the ride so they can both cut a few checks for their upcoming wedding by releasing a line of his and hers sunglasses.

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Open Post: Hosted By McDonald’s La-Z-Boy With A McFlurry Chiller In It

March 20, 2019 / Posted by:

McDonald’s has been supplying the masses with their non-biodegradable food for at least one thousand years now, and although many would claim that their biggest contributions to society are obesity and the bubblegutsm, they also introduced a creamy frozen delight called a McFlurry. If you’ve never had one then you don’t know what you’re missing. Actually, yes you do because there really isn’t anything special about it. However, some people absolutely LOVE them, and since McDonald’s has always been masters of marketing they’ve decided that they will help one lucky person begin their journey to starring on My 600 Pound Life. McDonald’s is giving away (as in for free) a couch that comes fully equipped with a built in chiller to keep your McFlurry’s super cold.

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Julia Roberts Says That “Pretty Woman” Probably Wouldn’t Be Made Today

March 19, 2019 / Posted by:

In Pretty Woman, a film that just turned 30 years old, Julia Roberts plays the cleanest, most carefree hooker in the world who stumbles across a rich man and lets loose in high society as a new woman for the low rental price of $3,000. At the base, it’s Cinderella with fuck-me boots. Fast forward to 2019 and Julia believes that in this current climate of sexual politics, a film like Pretty Woman would never fly.

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Diddy Is Not Dating Steve Harvey’s Stepdaughter

March 18, 2019 / Posted by:

When I heard that there may be some type of romance taking place between Diddy and Lori Harvey,I thought to myself, “Who the hell is she?” After learning that she’s Steve Harvey‘s stepdaughter, my next question was, “Isn’t she half Diddy’s age?” But Diddy has spoken out about the rumors and wants everyone to know that he is still very much single and Lori will not be filling the spot Cassie left vacant after she finally threw up the peace sign and made her exit.

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Soulja Boy Has Been Arrested…Again

March 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Just in case you were wondering, Soulja Boy is still the Mayor and sole occupant of DummyTown. It hasn’t been that long since he made some very bad career decisions such as impersonating the neighborhood crackhead during an interview with The Breakfast Club or redefining true love by snatching up Mother of the Year Black Chyna and making her his lady for all of five minutes before moving on. But in addition to these productive life goals, Soulja Boy also enjoys the excitement of being handcuffed and taken to a place where spitting bars gets replaced with prison bars, because he’s been arrested again on a charge he’s all too familiar with.

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Ciara Says Abstaining From Sex Before Marriage Took Lots Of Prayer

March 14, 2019 / Posted by:

The reason why Ciara‘s song “Level Up” is such a hit is probably because she’s the humanized definition of the term. After a succession of failed relationships with the Voltron of Fuck Boys 50 Cent, Bow Wow and plus-sized hating mush mouth Future (whom she made a baby with) Ciara hit the jackpot when she scored a ring from NFL Quarterback Russell Wilson. During their courtship though, Ciara  and Russell decided to keep their goodies to themselves until marriage. They’re now happily married and happily fucking. However, she admits that she spent a lot of time on her knees performing a different kind of act to make sure their love was successful, and that act is called prayer.

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