Brad Pitt, Who Is Not Worried About The Age Gap In His New Relationship, Put His LA Compound On The Market For $40 Million
As Brad Pitt magnanimously awaits a peaceful resolution to his custody dispute with Angelina Jolie, he appears to be taking stock of where life has brought him thus far, and found it lacking, if not in wealth, perhaps in meaning. According to People, Brad has “quietly listed” his Los Feliz home of 30 years for $40 million. What good is a sprawling compound if you have no one with which to share its bounty? What good is a swimming pool, tennis court and skating rink on 1.9 acres in a dense urban enclave to a divorced dad of six whose only true goal in life is to be loved (by the HFPA et al)? When does “real property” become a painful specter of all that’s been lost, and all your heart truly yearns for, is all that’s yet to be found? When one is stripped of the trappings of fame and fortune, all that remains is the truth.
Amanda Seyfried Is Working On A Musical Adaptation Of “Thelma & Louise” With Even Rachel Wood Possibly Riding Shotgun
Mamma Mia! Just when Amanda Seyfried’s career was picking up speed, she’s about to drive that shit right off a cliff. And she might be taking Evan Rachel Wood down with her. Because according to Variety, the new musical that Amanda was so “deep in the process of creating” that she couldn’t make it accept her Golden Globe for The Dropout is a musical adaptation of Thelma & Louise.
Did somebody say FASHUN?!? Well, say it louder next time, I don’t think the folks in the back heard you over the din of shitfaced celebrities using the Golden Globes’ phenomenal flame out last year as an excuse to load up on free champagne, talk shit, and network with fellow survivors of the Great Los Angeles Deluge of 2023. However, a few stars heard the call to bare arms (regretfully, ladies only. Where was Timothée Chalamet with his scrumptious little back meats!?) and used the opportunity to challenge their stylists to come up with a look that simultaneously screams “I’m the greatest star” and “I am being pranked by my stylist, aren’t I.” Meanwhile, the real jackasses pulling one over on these celebrities are the goon-squad of aestheticians going around convincing them to donate their precious buccal fat reserves “for charity.” Sad truth is that only a tiny portion of their donations actually make it to starving children in need. Sorry, Wednesday‘s Jenna Ortega, your generous donation is now just padding for some ghoul’s pocket. Also, I think your parachute got a little turned around. Must have been the wind.
Brad Pitt Sells Off Majority Stake Of His Production Company As Rumors Suggest He’s “Considering Leaving Hollywood”
It seems that Brad Pitt really enjoyed that shirtless Cabo beach romp with his new girlfriend, Ines de Ramon, and may be doing that full-time and taking a break from acting. 59-year-old Brad recently sold his stake in his production company, Plan B, and sources say he’s ready to take a step away from Hollywood. Well, his last movie, Babylon, flopped hard as fuck, and his movie before that, Bullet Train, was panned by critics–so when you’re cranking out stinkers like those, maybe it is a good time to step back and reevaluate some things.
On New Year’s Eve Day, Brad Pitt was papped poolside sunning his divorced-dad-of-six-bod alongside his topless lady friend of a few months, nutritionist/person having something to do with jewelry production, Ines de Ramon, while the two vacationed together in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. If the paps caught the couple unawares, they must be pissed to have missed the money shot because Ines kept her back to the voyeurs, depriving a thirsty public of a peep of the teats that are sure to inspire Brad to try his hand at designing a line of handcrafted nipple rings for every occasion. Possibly even a bespoke pair one might wear to a covert photoshoot when your man’s movie has just flopped following resurfaced accusations of domestic abuse by his very famous ex. But we’ll never know because Ines is, apparently, a pro. As such, she appeared far more interested in keeping her nose in her book than she was in the soulful artist with the “well-defined abs and many tattoos” seated by her side.
Choices, choices, choices! When did there get to be so many choices? Earlier this month at the People’s Choice Awards, the People had their say and chose Mariska Hargitay to get upstaged by Kathy Hilton and Olivia Wilde’s nipples. And now it’s time for the Critics to nominate their choices for future choosing at the 2023 Critics Choice Awards. And maybe because the Critics are canonically more critical than the People, they’ve chosen Everything Everywhere All at Once over Olivia’s nipples, which along with Don’t Worry Darling, were left out of the choices for future choosing altogether. Why, in my day, three white men with cigars in a secret Hollywood backroom made all the choices over the flayed body of a virgin sacrifice, but nowadays, it seems, everybody gets to choose!