While promoting the Barbie movie in the summer issue of Vogue, Barbie herself, Margot Robbie, says that Barbie could “never be sexy” because, as a doll, she doesn’t have sexual organs, which… can’t argue with her there. But this is Hollywood, so I’m sure that there will still be some sexiness in the new Barbie movie out in July. But one thing that will be completely missing from the film will be Gal Gadot, who Margot says would have made the perfect Barbie because no one hates her. Um… call Joss Whedon, he doesn’t think she can speak English.
At CinemaCon in Las Vegas this week, Sydney Sweeney wasn’t the only blondie in pink everyone had eyes on (and mostly to look to see if she’s got horny cheating hearts in her eyes for co-star Glen Powell), Margot Robbie was there in Pretty in Pink Prada (which included a unibrow for her boobs) to present Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie to theater owners. While looking like Body Wave Perm Ken, Ryan Gosling helped Margot and Greta Gerwig show new footage from their movie. In the new footage, our Barbie Girl’s Barbie World (shout out to Aqua, whose song unsurprisingly isn’t in the Barbie movie at all) is turned upside down when things (SPOILER ALERT) start to go wrong for her in BarbieLand, and she has to contemplate life in the real world and death. Barbie gets deep.
Last week, I posted about the trailer for Wes Anderson’s Asteroid City, a vision of pastel overload starring every working actor in Hollywood. And this week, I’m posting about Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie, a vision of pastel overload starring every working actor in Hollywood. But unlike Asteroid City, the Barbie movie is low on twee pretentiousness and high on Ryan Gosling’s nipples brushing up against a hot Magic Earring Ken jean vest (note to Wes Anderson: if you want to make Asteroid City more watchable, include a shot of Ryan Gosling’s nipples brushing up against a hot Magic Earring Ken jean vest in the final cut). In December, we got one Barbie teaser trailer, and today, they released teaser #2. I guess they just keep sticking the tip in. Well, as much as a flat-crotch’d plastic doll can stick the tip in.
And on top of the second teaser trailer, we got tons upon tons of character posters, including Michael Cera as Ken’s ginger friend Allan. FINALLY, Allan is getting his time in the shine, but did they really have to make him look like a sleazy frat boy turned sleazy investment banker?! Allan might be a Murdough.
In 2016 they offered us a live-action Barbie movie starring Amy Schumer and we said, “lol. No, thanks.” “Fine, Anne Hathatawy?,” they asked, and it being 2017 we said “look, we’re still trying to recover from Les Mis. Please leave us alone.” Then, like a year later, they said, “well, how about if Greta Gerwig writes and directs?” and we said, “whatever dudes, You do you.” Then they came back with “OK, so Greta’s definitely in and we are thinking Margot Robbie as Barbie? We getting warmer?” and we said, “we’re listening.” Then they said “Great! And as a reward for your patience, how about we give you Ryan Gosling as Ken” and we said “lol. OK, well in that case…”
Billy Eichner may have seen this news and relaxed after calling out the Straights™ for not buying tickets to his gay romantic comedy Bros, which bombed at the box office. Because well, David O’Russell‘s Amsterdam bombed hard too. The star-studded film had a production budget of $80 million but only made $6.5 million at this past weekend’s box office. It did worse in theatres than Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile.
Margot Robbie And Cara Delevingne Got Into An Altercation With Paparazzi In Argentina That Turned Physical
Over the weekend, Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie proved that when Suicide Squad broads go abroad, mayhem will ensue. TMZ reports that Cara and Margot were involved in an INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT following a run-in with a paparazzo in the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina, that landed Margo sprawled out on the pavement, two of her friends in police custody, and the photographer in the hospital reaching out with his one remaining arm to call The Sun about the “brutal attack.” The photographer, Pedro Orquera, and Margot’s friends, Barbie producer Josey McNamara and a key grip named Jac Hopkins, have divergent perspectives on the incident, but there’s one thing everyone seems to agree on— Cara made like the Joker and got away!