HBO Max, I Mean, “Max,” Released A Teaser Trailer For “The Batman” Spin-Off Series “The Penguin” Starring Colin Farrell
Yesterday, Warner Bros. Discovery officially announced that next month, HBO Max will merge with Discover Plus and become just MAX. That is a smart branding move since they’re erasing a brand name (HBO) that most people know well and replacing it with the name of every other neighborhood dog on your block. Max will launch on May 13th, and prices will range from $9.99 a month or $99.99 a year for a subscription with ads to $19.99 a month or $199.99 a year for the ultimate 4k ad-free subscription. Max (ugh, that name) also announced new shows, including that Harry Potter series, and served up trailers for their upcoming shows. That includes a little teaser for Matt Reeves’ The Batman spin-off series The Penguin, starring Colin Farrell continuing to fight the hot under forty-five tons of wrinkly prosthetics.
Back when season three of True Detective was announced I likened True Dick to a lover who came on strong then ghosted me for a year only to come crawling back talking about “baby, I’ve changed” so I gave it a second chance and got burned. Badly. Like last gasp Vince Vaughn not even Colin Farrel can save this bad. Then the bitch came sniffing around again a couple of years later and to my surprise was looking GOOT! Like Mahershala Ali before he ever saw the script for Green Book good. So I caved and gave it another chance to break my heart when they invited Stephen Dorf and a bevy of tragic wigs into our bed. So I’d be a fucking fool to entertain the thought of letting the recently announced fourth season of True Detective get anywhere near my knickers again. But according to Deadline, Jodie Foster has been cast as the new lead. And I’ve never had a woman before so…
We can now add spittle to the list of things the Cannes Film Festival attendees deem to be more repugnant than Roman Polanski. According to Variety, festival attendees arriving from outside of the EU are being required to visit The Drool Tent, or La Tente de Bave, if you will, to provide a saliva sample to be tested for COVID-19 before attending any events inside the Palais. Festival-goers have described the process as “really gross” but then turn around and watch Tilda Swinton in a movie about a woman suffering from “exploding head syndrome,” (via IndieWire) or worse, a movie starring Simon Rex! Yes, old Dirt Nasty himself has a movie at Cannes this year and Roman Polanski does not. The earth is healing.
Jamie Lee Curtis Stunted On Everyone In Yellow While Jodie Foster Accepted Her Golden Globe In Fancy Pajamas
It seems like that one brush with the Fiji Water Girl was enough and Jamie Lee Curtis was never going to let someone try and upstage her at an award show again. She showed up to the 2021 Golden Globes looking like the sexiest pro-gut-flora yogurt spokesperson you have ever fucking seen. It was a great juxtaposition since Jamie presented an award to Jodie Foster who accepted with her wife in their fanciest of pajamas.
Open Post: Hosted By Sir Anthony Hopkins Revealing That He Thought “Silence Of The Lambs” Was A Kid’s Movie
Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) and Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) reunited for a virtual chat for Variety’s Actors on Actors interview series. They discussed their respective careers and eventually circled back to their experience filming 1991’s Silence of the Lambs. Jodie asked Anthony if he had any specific memories from the movie, and he admitted that when he first heard the film’s title, he assumed it was a kid’s movie. I guess he thought Silence of the Lambs sounded like a Babe-type film about a lamb who can’t “baaaah.” But, as he soon learned, the actual script was a wee bit darker.
Someone text Brie Larson and let her know she can make her hands slap together for every award winner this year. Jennifer Lawrence and Jodie Foster will be presenting the Best Actress statuette together this evening, according to Variety. Normally last year’s Best Actor winner handles that task. But last year’s Best Actor was alleged creep in a beard Casey Affleck and it’s #TimesUp for the handsy types. No one wants torches and pitchforks to take the stage at the Dolby Theatre. That should only happen if Meryl Streep wins because it IS possible for one woman to have too many accolades. Continue reading