Back in 2021, Dakota Johnson did an interview and graciously shared with us her opinion on “cancel culture.” 33-year-old Dakota admitted that she felt bad for former controversial co-stars like Johnny Depp (Black Mass), Shia LaBeouf (The Peanut Butter Falcon), and Armie Hammer (2019’s Wounds and The Social Network). She said she’d never experienced abuse from any of these men (then they’re INNOCENT!), and she felt sad “for the loss of great artists.” Yeeeah. Okaaaay. Huuuuh. Anywho, it’s more than a year later, and it sounds like Dakota’s sadness has ceased, and she’s finally moved on to the “joking about Armie Hammer being a cannibal” stage of her grief.
If anyone had been researching “timeshare salesperson” as a lucrative career, it might be time to check that option off of the list–because even though Armie Hammer was working as one in the Cayman Islands for a bit earlier this year after his acting career shit an apartment building full of beds due to his sexual abuse and cannibalism fetish allegations–hawking Cayman condos wasn’t paying his bills (though it was probably more profitable than Death on the Nile at the box office). Now, financial matters are looking even more bleak for Armie, because American Express says that he’s been dodging a $67,000 credit card balance, and they’re taking him to court over it.
Elizabeth Chambers Reportedly Used A Friend’s Email Account To Talk To The Press About Armie Hammer’s Many Issues
If they ever make a movie about the Wagatha Christie story, I know exactly who they should hire to play amateur digital sleuth Coleen Rooney. Armie Hammer’s wife Elizabeth Chambers may not include “actor” in her Instagram bio, but she does call herself a “TVhost/journalist,” and reportedly put those skills to use by borrowing a friend’s email account to contact multiple media outlets “both months before and after news of his extramarital affairs and the allegations of abuse by the actor” to let them know, among other things including leaking shots from his secret Finsta account, that Armie “had abandoned her and their children in Grand Cayman where they were living together during the early months of the pandemic, before their separation, to spend time with actress Lily James.”
According to CNN, Elizabeth’s now former friend contacted them and shared “emails and screen shots of text messages” proving the alleged subterfuge, claiming that she felt things had “gone too far.” If only someone had thought to say that about Armie’s career when he was cast in The Lone Ranger, it would have saved us all a lot of trauma.
Well, it looks like Armie Hammer’s gig as a timeshare sales rep might not last long enough for him to find his picture on a little lunch room plaque that reads Timeshare Employee of the Month. Because Armie has left the Cayman Islands and returned to the United States. According to reports, he and his family landed stateside to get away from all the photographers and journalists who flooded the island in an attempt to get the scoop on Armie’s timeshare job. And now Armie is reportedly living in one of Robert Downey Jr.’s house.
Armie Hammer Is Really Selling Timeshares In The Cayman Islands And Is Doing It To Support His Family
So I guess that Armie Hammer‘s super wealthy family has some pretty messed up value system because while they reportedly have a history of Murder, Thievery, Lies, and Sex Parties, it seems that the thing that gets you cut off from the family money is being called out publicly. Armie lost it all after Hollywood blackballed him when women came forward with abuse allegations and tales of his cannibal fantasies. That led to Armie being investigated by the LAPD for rape allegations, but he was ultimately never charged. Now Armie is officially working in the Cayman Islands as a timeshare salesman and it’s reportedly because he’s broke, which we’ve heard before. But wow, he spent all that Death on the Nile money already?!
Well, it’s confirmed. If you want a great deal on a part-time vacation home, just pop on over to the Cayman Islands, schedule a meeting with Mr. Armand Douglas Hammer (a.k.a Armie Hammer), and you can get yourself a sweet beachside property! A few days ago, a flier went around claiming that Armie was working as a hotel concierge in the Caymans, but his rep said that flier was fake. But when Armie was spotted helping out at a timeshare office, his rep had nothing to say about that. TMZ now says that Armie is currently taking on his greatest new role: timeshare salesman.