Text Messages Between Amber Heard And Elon Musk Were Read In Court At Johnny Depp’s Libel Trial Against The Sun
Everywhere there’s a celebrity shit show, you can expect to find Elon Musk lurking somewhere in the background. A couple of weeks ago he was standing hip to hip with Kanye West in support of Kaye’s presidential candidacy (he even involved himself last night in the midst of Kanye’s Twitter spree claiming “We talked about an hour ago. He seems fine.” via Reuters). And according to Deadline, his name has once again come up in the literal shit show that is Johnny Depp’s libel suit against The Sun. Amber Heard continued to give testimony yesterday, and text messages between her and Elon were read in court establishing that Elon had offered to provide Amber with round-the-clock security, even if she didn’t fuck him. WHAT A GENTLEMAN!
Semen and pussy juice are the only bodily fluids left standing that haven’t been explicitly discussed in open court in the never-ending legal drama between Johnny Depp (seen above, I think, in a courtroom sketch), Amber Heard and The Sun. But they are implied. In day two of the libel trial of Johnny vs The Sun, the moon, and everything in between, photographic evidence was given alleging that Johnny’s breakfast of choice includes a pint glass full of whiskey, four lines of cocaine snorted with a tampon applicator and a Keith Richards CD, which is why Keith is trending today on Twitter. It was also alleged that Johnny once scrawled “I love you” in blood from his severed finger on a mirror and that he once hit Amber for making fun of his Wino Forever tattoo. And, according to Page Six, Johnny admitted to calling Amber “a go-getter slut and a whore,” because he was convinced she was having an affair with James Franco, who Johnny says Amber once called “creepy and rapey.” However, he has so far adamantly denied he committed any of the 14 instances of physical assault presented by the defense (via Page Six). Hey, at least there was no talk of human feces on the docket this time!
When we last left the chunky diarrhea puddle of a messy legal fight between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard, a 911 call was released of Amber’s friend telling authorities that Johnny was attacking Amber. Since then, Amber’s legal team (which included #MeToo co-founder Roberta Kaplan) have left the case, saying that they still believe her but that travel and logistics in the time of COVID-19 became tricky and expensive so it was better for Amber to be represented by a legal team based in Virginia. Johnny filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber after she accused him (but didn’t name him) of abusing her in an op-ed piece for The Washington Post. Johnny filed the lawsuit in Virginia because that’s where The Washington Post is based.
Well, now Cara Delevingne has been dragged into this wreck because it’s been claimed in a deposition that she had a threeway with Amber and Elon Musk in 2016. Why did I just picture Elon Musk getting spit-roasted with Space(se)X-brand cyborg strap-ons? But according to Elon, that cursed image is only a product of my gutter sludge brain because he never had a threesome with Amber and Cara.
People says that 41-year-old James Franco has commented on the #MeToo allegations against in a demurrer (which isn’t a name for a demure person, it’s a written objection ) related to the lawsuit filed against him by two female students of his now-dead acting school. He called the sexual harassment allegations “scurrilous publicity-seeking lawsuit” when it first came up and he’s doubling down on that same energy. James Franco thinks it’s a stunt meant to gain “as much publicity as possible.” Someone needs to call Ally Sheedy to the witness stand and ask her about how James believes these allegations are more ridiculous than the fact that he ran an acting school.
Macaulay Culkin Still Insists Nothing Happened Between Him And Michael Jackson, And Adds That James Franco Is A Nosy Pest
Don’t feel sorry for Macaulay Culkin, some child stars turn out just fine (eventually), even the ones with supremely shitty parents. While Mack, as he’s known, went through a period of heroin adjacent tabloid drama, he now spends his days positively chilling, according to a recent Esquire profile. He barely works (BY CHOICE!), and spends his time goofing on the internet, smoking cigarettes, chilling with his cats and “keeping his lady fed” which is not a euphemism for butt stuff. The lady in question is his girlfriend, fellow former child actor Brenda Song (The Suite Life of Zach & Cody), and Mack says they are trying for a baby. A real one this time! In the interview, Mack (I hate it so much, but he insists) also talked a little bit about his relationship with Michael Jackson, reiterating that nothing sexual ever happened between them. More delightfully, Mack talked about the time he dunked on James Franco for getting nosy with him on an airplane.
That Time’s Up pin is really, really coming back to bite James Franco in the ass. The New York Times is reporting that Sarah Tither-Kaplan and Toni Gaal, two former students of James Franco’s acting school, Studio 4, filed a lawsuit against James Franco yesterday in Los Angeles. Sarah was one of the five women who spoke out against James Franco back in January 2018, after Ally Sheedy got the ball rolling on Twitter.