Here’s The Final Cut Of “Gotta Be You” From “80 For Brady” Feat. Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan And Their Kid Sister Belinda Carlisle
Dolly Parton famously wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene on the same night, so it should be no surprise that she was able to squirt out a dribbly little ditty as a favor to a couple of old friends in less time than it takes her to remove her false eyelashes at the end of the day. When Dolly’s homegirls Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin found themselves in a bind, having agreed to go against God’s Plan by signing up for starring roles in Tom Brady’s mid-post-post-career vanity project, 80 for Brady, alongside Sally Field and Rita Moreno, and needed help, Dolly was right there to lend a hand. And Dolly’s no Rose from Titanic! Her door is as wide as it is strong, and it’s always open to a friend in need. Dolly secured her rings and baubles and such before reaching her hand down into the frigid, inky-black depths of Tom’s ego and pulled her girls to safety. She then got her little orange emergency whistle out and started looking for other innocent souls at risk of drowning in Tom’s insatiable abyss. As dawn arose on that fateful night, Dolly’s door was teeming with refugees from the floating wreckage of Tom’s post-divorce career.
I just knew Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda were gonna try to pull Dolly Parton into this mess! And here we are. Consequences of Sound reports that Dolly’s going to contribute to a song on the soundtrack for 80 for Brady, that CTE inducing movie produced by Tom Brady, starring Dolly’s old 9 to 5 crew of working stiffs plus Rita Moreno and Sally Field pretending they’ve never seen an Oscars podium before. But if anybody’s going to save that drek from complete and utter dreckitude, it’s Dolly. Shit, she saved the Mexican Pizza AND New Year’s Eve. So she should have no problem saving her girls from making absolute fools of themselves. But Harry Hamlin’s on his own!
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For Tom Brady’s Passion Project “80 For Brady” AKA The Passion Of The Yikes
I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know how it happened. Similarly, I don’t know what it’s for, and I don’t know who it’s for. Nor do I know when it happened, or, after having watched the trailer, IF it actually happened at all. By my count, no fewer than seven CGI Guy Fieri’s are featured here. Variety has attempted to outline a few of the basic facts related to 80 for Brady, a movie starring four of Hollywood’s most iconic actresses as obsessed Tom Brady fans who “travel to the 2017 Super Bowl to see Brady on the field,” but unfortunately, their reporting has left me with more questions than answers. The only thing I’m 100% sure about in regards to 80 for Brady, produced by and starring Tom as himself, and Tom’s work wife, Rob Gronkowski, as the inspiration for one of the ladies’ “Gronk erotica,” is that Gisele Bundchen’s jiu-jitsu instructor is definitely getting pinned tonight.
Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda were in talks to create a sequel to 9 to 5. Rashida Jones was supposedly working on the new script with original writer Patricia Resnick, and the sequel was going to be about a new class of ladies who deal with a shit boss and get help from Dolly, Lily, and Jane on how to take him down. But it turns out the script and the timing are making things difficult. So it’s on hold for now. Dolly said that the three of them (and I’m sure both of Dolly’s boobs were consulted) couldn’t agree on a script.
If you were wanting Dolly Parton’s on-screen reunion with Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda to be on Grace & Frankie, you’re out of luck. The country queen doesn’t do geriatric vibrators! At a recent panel, Jane talked more about the planned 9 To 5 sequel. And it sounds like they’ll be in charge this time around to impart wisdom on the youngins out there!
Dolly Parton Confirms That She, Jane Fonda And Lily Tomlin Will All Clock-In For The “9 to 5” Reboot
Had it up to here sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigots? You are not alone! The teased 9 to 5 reboot just got sanctified by my personal lord and savior, Dolly Parton. According to Vulture, Dolly, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin have all agreed to reprise their roles in the upcoming film. Upon hearing this news, I screamed to my secretary to get his cute little ass in here with some napkins to wipe the shit eating grin on my face.