Even The Mighty O is intrigued by this black-swan-casket-skirt-biker-shorts disaster.
The best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under shredded jean shorts with a Body Glove tank top and British Knights. The second best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under a dress that looks like an ornate gothic nightie that was scrunched up in the corner of an attic and was used as a bed by a bunch of crows. Adele Exarchopoulos knows what I’m talking about. Adele Exarchopoulos won Best Young Actor at the Critics’ Choice Awards in Santa Monica for her performance in Coochie Is The Warmest Color and she made every Academy voter fist themselves without lube for not nominating her for Best Actress. If she wore this to a third tier awards show, imagine what she would’ve worn to the OSCAHS! When dressing for the Critics’ Choice Awards, hos usually stroll to their dirty laundry basket, pick up whatever’s at the top and put it on. They do their makeup in the car. They don’t give three shits while dressing for that crap. So if Adele wore this, I’m guessing she would’ve worn a Hypercolor catsuit and Airwalk Jim heels to the Oscars.
Adele looks like she was cycling in a race when she crashed into a walking funeral procession for a fallen drag queen before landing into a bunch of black pigeons taking a nap together. It is the look. You can never go wrong with sequins and biker shorts.
Here’s more pictures from that shit last night including Jeremy Renner pinching his nipples for the photographers and Abigail Breslin looking like a 50-year-old brothel madam.
Adèle Exarchopoulos
Adèle Exarchopoulos
Adèle Exarchopoulos
Adèle Exarchopoulos
James Marsden
James Marsden
Jared Leto
Jared Leto
Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks
Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts
Meryl
Meryl
Julia Roberts
Kevin Spacey
Jeremy Renner
Jeremy Renner
Jeremy Renner
Jason Schwartzman
Chris Cooper
Grumpy Cat’s pepaw
Kellan Lutz
Kellan Lutz
Amy Adams
Marlon Wayans
Marlon Wayans
Abigail Breslin
Abigail Breslin
Adèle Exarchopoulos
Emma Thompson
Emma Thompson
chiwetel Ejiofor
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Melissa McCarthy
Pharrell Williams
Yoyce from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Yoyce from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and her husband
When Oprah interviewed Paula Deen for Oprah’s Next Chapter last year, she stayed in the Deen family “guest house” in Georgia and now she knows why the “guest house” was actually a shack in the backyard and why there was an Aunt Jemima costume and a dinner bell lying on her cot. The Mighty O got to know Paula Deen, so at last night’s premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butlerin NYC, everybody with a mic asked her about it. Oprah recently said no friend of hers will ever use the n-word around her, so I’m surprised she didn’t tell reporters, “Paula who? Oh, you mean the Miss Millie whose company I’m going to buy with my play money and DESTROY just for fun?” Oprah told Entertainment Tonight that Paula is not the first white woman to use the n-word and also said that she tried to call Paula’s ass.
“In the very first days I tried to reach her and then I decided to stay out of it as I saw it blowing up. In time she will be fine. For me, it all just felt kind of sad.
Nobody in their right mind is going to call me the N-word. You know, you see those fools on Twitter sometime say ridiculous things. But nobody in their right mind is going to do that to my face, because true racism is being able to have power over somebody else. So that doesn’t happen to me that way.”
That’s Oprah’s way of saying, “I’m God, bitch,” and it’s also Oprah’s way of telling Squeak to come call her a “field nigger” to her face, because she really wants to tit pound that bitch through all the layers of the Earth into Hell.
Here’s more of FroPrah and Ted Head Stedman at last night’s The Butler premiere. I also threw in a bunch of pictures of other hos there including Mimi who showed up wearing a sling that can double as a studded fisting glove.
Stedman and Oprah at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Oprah at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Stedman and Oprah at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi and Nick Cannon at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi and Nick Cannon at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi and Nick Cannon at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Mimi and Nick Cannon at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Gayle King and her guest at the premiere of her boo’s movie Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Fantasia at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Fantasia at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
The Madam of the Death Eaters and Andre Leon Talley who swept in directly from his audition for Sister Act
Debbie Harry waving all the lesser hos away at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
A knocked up YaYa from Top Model at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Keshia Knight Pulliam at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Lee Daniels at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Lee Daniels at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Why hasn’t anyone thrown a pile of money at her to play Cleopatra?! She’s already got the wig!
Lenny Kravitz at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Legendary beauty icon Cicely Tyson with Lenny Kravitz at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Legendary beauty icon Cicely Tyson with Lenny Kravitz at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Legendary beauty icon Cicely Tyson with Lenny Kravitz at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker and his wife at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Jane Fonda at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker and Jane Fonda at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Jane Fonda at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker and Jane Fonda at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker and Jane Fonda at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Forest Whitaker at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Minka Kelly at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Jesse Williams at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
James Marsden at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Baby Wipes and his daughter at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013
Baby Wipes at the premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC on August 5, 2013