Corona isn’t the only thing going viral these days. With everybody on lockdown and bored out of their minds, we are grasping at straws for anything even mildly entertaining to distract us from this supremely shitty situation. Some desperate souls have even resorted to watching Cats! Which is why you may have seen the video that’s going around where Gal Gadot and a bafflingly random group of celebrities join together as one to sing John Lennon’s Imagine. You see, coronavirus got Gal to thinking: What if we are all really the same? And to her credit, when it comes right down to it, celebrities really are just like us. They’re also bored, scared, barely any of them can sing, and the ones who can sing, are always doing too much.
Parasite literally JUST won Best Picture at the academy awards so you know what that means: Time for a REEEEEEEMAKE, BABY! What better time to ruin a good thing than immediately after said good thing gets popular. According to Collider, HBO is currently working on a limited series inspired by the movie, and is eyeing Mark Ruffalo to star. The project is still in the early stages but I’m guessing it will be all of the cutting commentary on class, but without all those pesky subtitles and unfamiliar faces. The only silver lining here is that Parasite director Bong Joon-ho and his co-author Han Jin-won will be involved. Vice director Adam McKay is also on board.
Reese Witherspoon, Kristen Bell, And Mark Ruffalo All Chimed In On Ellen’s Friendship With George W. Bush
Unsurprisingly, Ellen Degeneres’ recent defense of her friendship with former President George W. Bush elicited a wide variety of responses. Since she framed their friendship as something that “Will Give You Faith in America Again” instead of the perhaps more honest “I’ll be friends with whoever the fuck I want”, Ellen made it easy for people to side with her. Because who doesn’t want to make the crushing anxiety, anger, and dread of #thesetryingtimes just go away! Even for a minute. But these days, much as MAGA is an illusion, so is FIAA (Faith in America Again). Some of Ellen’s Celebrity Defenders (coming this Fall to Fox!) like Reese Witherspoon and Kristen Bell, caught shit for falling for Ellen’s Pollyanna line. Mark Ruffalo, on the other hand, said “kindness” can take a back seat until we get to the bottom of this alleged war crimes situation. It sounded more bad ass before he hulked of his jeans and was left wearing teeny tiny shredded daisy dukes.
God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
Sorry, I should clarify: a whole lot of women and a couple dudes. For some reason, the men of Hollywood aren’t exactly rushing to pipe up with their thoughts about the recent dump of sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein. Which I’m sure is just because they dropped their cellphones in the toilet and have no current means of communication, and not because they had been benefiting from doing business with the alleged creepy shower enthusiast. But for now, we’ve got the thoughts from plenty of actresses and a couple actors, including George Clooney.
A fresh glimpse of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth is probably the best part of this story. Marvel took a huge infodump (how nicely put) at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend. They debuted the new trailer for Thor: Ragnarok (aka Chris Hemsworth Has A Better Haircut And Remains A Thirst Trap), showed the first image of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, and announced who would be playing the part of the FIRST Wasp in Ant-Man and the Wasp. It’s kind of a big name. I hope she sings “Cool Rider” in the movie to distract me, because I can only take so much of Paul Rudd’s “I’ll always be funnier than you” smirk. (And if you figured out who the actress in question is because of that song title, we are friends til’ the end.) Continue reading