HBO Max, I Mean, “Max,” Released A Teaser Trailer For “The Batman” Spin-Off Series “The Penguin” Starring Colin Farrell
Yesterday, Warner Bros. Discovery officially announced that next month, HBO Max will merge with Discover Plus and become just MAX. That is a smart branding move since they’re erasing a brand name (HBO) that most people know well and replacing it with the name of every other neighborhood dog on your block. Max will launch on May 13th, and prices will range from $9.99 a month or $99.99 a year for a subscription with ads to $19.99 a month or $199.99 a year for the ultimate 4k ad-free subscription. Max (ugh, that name) also announced new shows, including that Harry Potter series, and served up trailers for their upcoming shows. That includes a little teaser for Matt Reeves’ The Batman spin-off series The Penguin, starring Colin Farrell continuing to fight the hot under forty-five tons of wrinkly prosthetics.
Last week, I posted about the trailer for Wes Anderson’s Asteroid City, a vision of pastel overload starring every working actor in Hollywood. And this week, I’m posting about Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie, a vision of pastel overload starring every working actor in Hollywood. But unlike Asteroid City, the Barbie movie is low on twee pretentiousness and high on Ryan Gosling’s nipples brushing up against a hot Magic Earring Ken jean vest (note to Wes Anderson: if you want to make Asteroid City more watchable, include a shot of Ryan Gosling’s nipples brushing up against a hot Magic Earring Ken jean vest in the final cut). In December, we got one Barbie teaser trailer, and today, they released teaser #2. I guess they just keep sticking the tip in. Well, as much as a flat-crotch’d plastic doll can stick the tip in.
And on top of the second teaser trailer, we got tons upon tons of character posters, including Michael Cera as Ken’s ginger friend Allan. FINALLY, Allan is getting his time in the shine, but did they really have to make him look like a sleazy frat boy turned sleazy investment banker?! Allan might be a Murdough.
Here’s The Trailer For Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City” Featuring Twee Pastels Galore And A Silver Fox Tom Hanks
If you’ve got a SAG card in your wallet right now, then congratulations on the release of the trailer for your upcoming movie Asteroid City! I mean, it seems like every working actor in Hollywood has been crammed into Wes Anderson’s latest cinematic twee overload. Actually, let me correct myself. It seems like every working actor in Hollywood is in this except for Wes Anderson’s longtime muse Bill Murray. Along with Bottle Rocket, Asteroid City is the second Wes Anderson movie that Bill is not in. Bill was originally cast but dropped out before filming, and it had nothing to do with him being accused of sexual harassment on the set of Aziz Ansari’s movie (Aziz’s movie started filming nearly a year after Asteroid City finished filming.) Bill had to quit that twee bitch after he caught COVID-19, and it looks like he was replaced with one of the first famous types to catch COVID , Tom Hanks, who is giving you silver retro daddy in Asteroid City. I have a feeling that Tom Hanks has been an undercover silver fox for many years and was dyeing his hair. I’m sure his mop instantly turned totally grey the first time he Googled his son Chet Haze.
In the midst of the Everything, Everywhere, All At Once Oscar-spree, another movie made some waves last night when a new two-minute long trailer for the upcoming release of Disney’s live-action remake of The Little Mermaid aired, with Halle Bailey’s Ariel tail giving us some of the slap-action the awards show was lacking this year. And it seems like many movie-goers are excited to head to theaters when it comes out this May, but inevitably, there were also stank piles of human marine debris who are still livid that a black actress was cast as Ariel.
Finally! The answer to the question we’ve all been asking Jeremy Strong for the past five years is upon us. Jeremy’s answer to “Why so serious?” has been revealed in the trailer for the upcoming 4th and final season of HBO’s Succession. About halfway through the trailer, Brian Cox, in character as Logan Roy, tells Jeremy, in mind, soul and body as Kendall Roy, that he and his siblings are “not serious people.” To which Jeremy, as Kendall both on and off screen, must surely have replied: “wanna bet?”
Last spring, we got a sneak peek of Nicolas Cage in full-on Dracula drag for his role in Renfield. The horror comedy stars Nicholas Hoult as Renfield, Dracula’s brainwashed servant who eats bugs and does his dark lord’s bidding. Now the trailer has finally been released, and, dare I say, the movie actually looks pretty good? Full disclosure: I’m a Cage-head. Have been since I stumbled across Face/Off on the TBS Superstation as a child. So the bias here is stronger than Cage’s performance as twins Charlie and Donald Kaufman in Adaptation (2002).