It was only a matter of time before GOOP dipped its snobby toe into the diaper game, and yesterday GOOP announced they had created a very GOOP-y disposable diaper made of virgin alpaca wool and studded with amber gemstones. It made perfect sense that GOOP would create something to collect poop, since they’ve been known to be full of shit. The diapers came in a pack of 12 that GOOP claimed to be selling for $120. But well, according to Gwyneth Paltrow, the reason for their little stunt was to protest the tax applied to diapers.
A man in South Africa has gone viral after he proposed to his girlfriend in a McDonald’s and got brutally, publicly rejected. The clip, which ended up on Twitter, shows the dude on one knee, presenting the unnamed woman with a little box (presumably there’s an engagement ring inside, but maybe a McNugget?). The crowd at the McDonald’s cheers, but the woman is having none of it. She shakes her head and says no to her would-be-fiancé. Then she walks out as the crowd boos. After her exit, the failed proposer stands back up and slinks away with his meal.
Here’s the worst part: it’s a McDonald’s… in a mall. Who in their right mind would say yes to a proposal in a mall McDonald’s? And don’t say Grimace, cuz everybody knows he’s a desperate purple slut with zero standards. Continue reading
Yesterday Prego spaghetti sauce was trending for absolutely disgusting reasons. And it’s all thanks to Lisa from the Josh and Lisa Facebook page. Lady clearly wants a piece of that sweet, sweet viral family fame, but she doesn’t wanna go so far as to euthanize dogs or return adopted children. After all, she’s not a monster! Or… is she? Cuz Lisa made the chaotic/wasteful decision to film herself constructing a spaghetti feast directly on top of her counter. She says countertop pasta is the “easiest way to make spaghetti for a crowd” (NO), because you don’t have to worry about dishes (UMMM) or a mess (WHAT?!?!).
If you had asked me to predict which person connected to the Fyre Festival would not only appear in a commercial, but that the commercial would eventually go viral on the internet, I would have played it safe and put all my money on the most obvious choice: Andy King shilling for Evian. Lo and behold, it’s Ja Rule showing his love for a local Los Angeles gyro restaurant in a low-budget commercial.
Up until Friday night, Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville was open for business as usual, no masks required but with the two-drink minimum firmly in place. Comedian D.L. Hughley performed there on Thursday and Friday and he killed! Just how many people he killed is yet to be determined. D.L. passed out on stage during his set and was rushed to the hospital where he tested positive for COVID-19. The club is now closed for a “comprehensive cleaning process conducted by a specialist” and patrons who attend either show are encouraged to contact Metro Health if they “feel some risk of exposure,” which is actually a pretty good punchline if you’re into gallows humor.
The proprietors of The Open Hearth restaurant in South Carolina asked the 1940s mannequins at The Inn at Little Washington in Virginia to hold their beer (a mistake given their fingers are fused together, dummies!) when they introduced blow-up dolls as seat fillers for their coronavirus-mandated reduced-capacity dining room. But the FC Seoul football club did them one better and asked the blow-up dolls to hold their dicks when they “accidentally” filled the stands at their stadium with “premium mannequins,” apparently not realizing that the “premium” means they have 3 working holes.