Awards season usually kicks off with a sloppy, boozy Golden Globes ceremony, but this year, the closest we got was a sloppy, blunted GG nominations announcement followed by some unpaid intern at the HFPA “live-tweeting” the results into a void. But ahead of tomorrow’s announcement of the Oscar nominations, things are looking up. Just not for perennial hopeful Amy Adams who was just nominated for two Razzie Awards for two separate roles this year. While The Golden Raspberry committee had to create an entirely new category devoted to Bruce Willis’ unprecedented EIGHT nominations in a single year, I still believe in Amy and want better for her, prompting me to write a simple invocation. So, please join me in prayer.
I hope all those nasty people on Twitter who roasted the trailer for the movie Karen starring Taryn Manning feel bad for what they’ve said once they learn that it’s not the derivative, hastily slapped together cash-grab they made it out to be. Specific apologies are due to Taryn herself from folks who made fun of her having spent the last couple of years embodying the role she was born to play. According to Deadline, Taryn didn’t take the role for money or attention, she did it “to affect change around the globe.” Joke’s on all those haters too because that shit worked! The world has never been less racist than it is right now.
It was announced last year that newly engaged Taryn Manning will be playing the Karen of all Karens in a horror movie. Well, a trailer is out for Karen and it looks like Ma meets Obsessed meets Get Out meets a Tyler Perry original. You’ll be shocked to learn Tyler Perry had nothing to do with it. And still: IT IS A MESS. Overly-dramatic, racially-charged, logically confusing; its trailer has now been released and the BET original movie looks an absolute shoo-in for next year’s Razzies.
Sorry, everybody, Taryn Manning is officially off the market. The 42-year-old actress/singer/Dancing with the Stars reject got engaged at a bar in Panama City, Florida on Friday. Her
girlfriend fiancée, musician Anne Cline, popped the question mid-performance. TMZ has the video of the surprise proposal: Anne walks into the crowd, goes down on one knee, and presents Taryn with a ring. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but Taryn crouches down, they kiss, and Anne slides the ring on her finger. Then they hug and kiss some more. So, using my Mentalist-level body language-reading abilities, my expert guess is Taryn accepted. Taryn confirmed my suspicions to TMZ, adding,“It was the easiest YES I ever said!”
Taryn Manning Says She Turned Down “Dancing With The Stars,” But They Say It Was The Other Way Around
If I had to pick a Boomkat song (Taryn Manning’s musical side-project) to describe this situation, it might be “Left Side/Right Side,” followed by “Wastin’ My Time.” Because that’s exactly what is going on between Taryn Manning and the ABC primetime celebrity dance competition show, Dancing With The Stars. Both sides of this story are accusing each other of wasting the other’s time by begging and pleading to appear on the show. Taryn says that DWTS has been desperate for years to get her on. Meanwhile, DWTS says that she’s the one who has been trying to get on the show and that they have never offered her a spot.
Hang onto your MAGA hats, 2020. Because a truly horrific horror movie is in the works (although, you can watch the horror show happen in real-time by logging onto Twitter and going through all the Karen videos). According to TMZ, Karen is getting the Hollywood treatment, thanks to director Coke Daniels (yes, his name is Coke Daniels) and Taryn Manning who just signed on to a movie where she plays “Karen WHITE“, an amalgamation of ALL the Karens we’ve come to know and hate––a racist, privileged and entitled white woman from the South who terrorizes her new neighbors once she discovers they are Black. Again, this is a movie, not a documentary. Although they could probably skip hiring a writer and just make the script by piecing together dialogue from all of the Karen cellphone calls from 2020 alone.