Lizzo is a celebrity, and if there’s one thing people love to do to celebrities it’s get up in their faces and ask for hugs, selfies, autographs, kisses, blessings, money, etc. But that kind of behavior isn’t COVID-friendly, especially with the Delta variant slutting it up all over America. So Lizzo went on Instagram Live to ask her fans and followers to please give her six feet of personal space if they encounter her in public, even if they’re vaccinated. She says if people don’t do this she’s gonna have to start being “slightly rude about it.” And it’s not cuz she thinks she’s “all that,” it’s because she wants her and close friends and family to stay healthy.
Not that it matters since we’re all probably going to be dead next year anyway but production on season 2 of Bridgerton has been halted indefinitely due to the ongoing pandemic that is determined to see us all dead by next year. According to Deadline, for the second time in a week, Netflix has had to shut down production on its big butts and bustles blockbuster due to a positive COVID-19 test. Bridgerton shoots in England where two other productions, Netflix’s Matilda based on the Broadway musical and HBO’s Game Of Thrones prequel House of The Dragon, have also been shut down due to COVID. At this rate, the surviving population of the coronapocalypse is going to have nothing but reruns of the Friends reunion to watch next season and that’s only if they can fend off the parasitic mutant anti-vaxxers who roam the wasteland in search of a host.
Someone better watch their back because Tom Cruise is going to rage out of his cha-cha heels again. Back in February 2020, production on the seventh Mission: Impossible movie was shut down in Venice because of Coronavirus. Since then, Tom has made it his mission, which he chose to accept, to get that movie made. His ass was building high-tech Coronavirus-safe bunkers and he was renting cruise ships to keep people isolated. Tom was doing the most to keep the cast and crew COVID-free. And still, they tried him and after Tom witnessed crew members not socially distancing, he went off on them in a recording that was later leaked. After all that, Tommy couldn’t keep Coronavirus away, because several people working on the movie tested positive and production has been shut down again.
Get ready to dust off your flower crown and find a new molly hook-up because Coachella has announced its return. While herpes simplex-2 had a few years off thanks to Coronavirus shutting down the music festival circuit, the time has once again come to drop drugs and pulse your body to music you’ll forget about within fifteen minutes. Living the dream, baby! But not anytime soon, you’ll still have to wait a year. But hey, get hyped regardless: Vanessa Hudgens’ favorite holiday is officially coming back!
While celebs like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson were getting mad support from the world after they came down with COVID-19, there seem to be a lot of other famous people who just had Coronavirus in secret and went on with their lives. This list does not include Gwyneth Paltrow who then started trying to sell you infrared saunas for COVID symptoms–although technically that is the type of shit she does with her life. Now we’ve learned that Queen of Breasts, Salma Hayek, had a case of Coronavirus so bad she literally almost died. I don’t think Gwyneth’s sauna blanket will help with that.
76-year-old Eric Clapton recently got the AstraZeneca vaccine and wouldn’t you know it, he had a bad reaction to both his shots. Clearly, that means that vaccines are fraudulent propaganda and that the COVID-19 vaccine rollout is sinister. Right? No? Well, Eric sure has been convinced. After his bout with some uncomfortable symptoms, Eric has taken up a very anti-vaccine, anti-lockdown stance and has written a letter blaming “propaganda” on his “disastrous” experience. Eric has said before that his cover of the song Cocaine is actually an anti-drug song so expect him to an anti-vaxxer version soon.