If the X-Men’s Jean Grey was, indeed, a real person she would have predicted this early on and burned down every set and piece of equipment attached to the abysmal X-Men: Dark Phoenix film, because not only did it get shit reviews, it’s getting awful box office numbers too. The 12th X-Men movie, starring Sophie Turner (who was on some HBO show too, right?), has been making audiences cringe way before the movie premiered on Friday. Now that its opening weekend is coming to a close, the money that Dark Phoenix has brought in far is the equivalent of doing an eighty-hour work week and getting paid $100. In nickels.
The world’s least dangerous band, the Jonas Brothers, is the subject an Amazon Prime documentary called Chasing Happiness which, as far as I can tell, is about 3 brothers from New Jersey who start a band and become very rich and famous despite the fact that only one of them looks like he knows how to fuck (Kevin don’t @me). In addition to the documentary, the threatened Jonas Brothers reunion is neigh, as is an album full of, I’m sure, Justin Timberlake rejected mid-tempo pop jams called Happiness Begins. For the first time since they broke up in 2013, Nick, Joe and the other one are all grown up, boo’d up, and opening up about what it was like being Disney’s bitch. Turns out they regret nothing. Well except for those purity rings.
Sophie Turner Thinks The Petition To Remake The Final Season Of “Game Of Thrones” Is “Disrespectful”
The Game Of Thrones series finale was a huge success… if all you care about is numbers. If you’re worried about fan-reaction or execution, well then, you may want to critique the success/failure ratio a bit differently. But back to the numbers. HBO scored the highest multi-platform tune-in with the show across its HBO network and its streaming services, HBO Go and HBO Now. In total, the series finale brought in a whopping 19.3 million
nerds viewers for the final show.
You know when Tim Gunn used to warn Project Runway contestants about making sure their looks don’t go too costumey? It always turned out to be pretty solid advice, and contestants who didn’t heed his warnings were usually sent home. I always imagined those losing designers slipped quietly away to careers in the circus or on the drag circuit. But judging from the runway at last night’s Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, some of them went on to have lucrative careers making costumes for remakes of popular movies.
It’s been over 10 years since The Hurt Locker won the Academy Award for Best Picture. That means it’s ripe for a remake. In this version, Mustard has the nerve wracking job of diffusing Mariah Carey’s Lush bath bombs. It’s a dangerous job, but Mustard’s just the man to do it. Look, he’s on the hair brush right now, getting dispatched to his next mission. They’ve found a Bom Perignon in Mimi’s toilet!
Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner were both in Las Vegas last night. Joe was there with his brothers, Nick and Kevin, because the Jonas Brothers performed their first show together as a band since I graduated from high school. The Jonas Brothers did the Billboard Music Awards and I guess Joe was on such a high he just needed to tie the knot, because after the awards show, the middle Jonas with the biggest dick took his fiancé down to a lil’ Vegas chapel and had themselves a lil’ wedding. Get that new album promo!
Page Six is reporting that fame hit Sophie Turner hard. While speaking on Phil In The Blanks, Dr. Phil‘s podcast (of all places), she revealed that during her come up in Hollywood after getting cast on Game Of Thrones, she dealt with a lot of depression and actually thought about suicide. Sophie, no! Sansa Stark must sit atop the Iron Throne!