Just because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic and Heidi Klum’s annual Halloween party didn’t happen for the second year in a row, doesn’t mean that the other celebrities won’t get together and tear shit up for attention. Much like a drag queen, if a celebrity isn’t working Halloween they are losing money! Harry Styles’ tour took him to Madison Square Garden in NYC on Halloween, and he decided to get festive by dressing up as a hobo hipster who just so happened to find a Dorothy Gale costume in the dumpster.
Joe Jonas has joined forces with Expedia for one of their travel campaigns. With COVID-19 travel restrictions easing up and more and more people flying, Expedia decided travelers may need a helping hand to ease the stress of traveling. So A.V. Club says that Expedia has produced replicas of Joe Jonas’ hand for nervous travelers to hold while they get back out there and start flying places. Nervous flyers and people who want to give themselves a handjob with a plastic Joe Jonas palm rejoice!
Taylor Swift’s New Song Might Be About Joe Jonas, And His Wife Sophie Turner Had Something To Say About It
As we all know, Taylor Swift has been very busy sticking it to Scooter Braun by releasing re-recorded versions of all her old songs. Taylor just released a previously unreleased song that she wrote way back in 2008, about a shady boy who did her dirty. For those keeping score at home, 2008 is around the time she had broken up with Joe Jonas. And it’s pretty clear that if her new/old song isn’t about Joe, at the very least, it’s about one of her exes from a decade and a half ago. So naturally, the internet has been trying to guess which ex-boyfriend Taylor is singing dirty about (yes I just had to ask myself what year it is). Sophie Turner, who just so happens to be Joe Jonas’ wife, decided to get involved, and kind of implied that it’s about Joe.
Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have apparently welcomed their first baby together – a daughter named Willa. That’s a pretty/non-insane choice for a celeb baby name. Mazel! So far, no statement from the couple, but TMZ says Sophie gave birth last Wednesday at a hospital in Los Angeles, making little Willa a Cancer on the cusp of Leo, which means… I don’t fucking know. Continue reading
Remember that Jonas Brothers song, What’s A Man Gotta Go?, that came out last month? Of course you don’t. It was not good or memorable in any way. However, turns out the lyric, “what’s a man gotta do to be totally locked up by you?” is as prophetic as it is clunky. According to Us Weekly, in the case of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, the answer is to raw dog a baby up in there. Sure, they’re already married, but as we know all too well, a baby is the only way to guarantee getting locked up for a 18 year minimum sentence. Us Weekly claims that Sophie is pregnant, but we don’t know how far along she is, or really any proof that Joe is the father. In fact, Us offers so few details, I’m not 100 percent convinced that Matthew Modine isn’t actually the father based on the sparks I saw flying in that music video.
I know, some hard-hitting journalism coming at you this Monday. And I’m not being sarcastic since the shit stuck in Nick Jonas’ teeth during his performance with The Jonas Brothers was big BREAKING NEWS. Hey, they have a new song out and need to cash in on this return to the spotlight as much as possible. That hundred-year wedding won’t pay for itself.