Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have apparently welcomed their first baby together – a daughter named Willa. That’s a pretty/non-insane choice for a celeb baby name. Mazel! So far, no statement from the couple, but TMZ says Sophie gave birth last Wednesday at a hospital in Los Angeles, making little Willa a Cancer on the cusp of Leo, which means… I don’t fucking know. Continue reading
Remember that Jonas Brothers song, What’s A Man Gotta Go?, that came out last month? Of course you don’t. It was not good or memorable in any way. However, turns out the lyric, “what’s a man gotta do to be totally locked up by you?” is as prophetic as it is clunky. According to Us Weekly, in the case of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, the answer is to raw dog a baby up in there. Sure, they’re already married, but as we know all too well, a baby is the only way to guarantee getting locked up for a 18 year minimum sentence. Us Weekly claims that Sophie is pregnant, but we don’t know how far along she is, or really any proof that Joe is the father. In fact, Us offers so few details, I’m not 100 percent convinced that Matthew Modine isn’t actually the father based on the sparks I saw flying in that music video.
I know, some hard-hitting journalism coming at you this Monday. And I’m not being sarcastic since the shit stuck in Nick Jonas’ teeth during his performance with The Jonas Brothers was big BREAKING NEWS. Hey, they have a new song out and need to cash in on this return to the spotlight as much as possible. That hundred-year wedding won’t pay for itself.
While, as Michael already pointed out, Prince’s eyes are probably still rolling in their grave after Usher gave him a tribute (still better than what Usher has given to people in the past) at last night’s Grammy Awards, there was one thing that Prince could be proud of. Prince’s fashion DNA was all over the red carpet, right down to the bare asscheeks. The men were having fun at the Grammys, outshining the women with looser expressions of gender and daring accessories. Let the girly-girls like Ariana Grande have their beautiful gowns. With the exception of the Jonas Brothers, the men of the red carpet took risks that paid dividends (the Jonas bros’ bronzed blazers with wives as accessories should file for fashion bankruptcy). Sorry ladies, its the guys time to shine. We already know what boobs look like.
The Jonas Brothers got back together, remember? They have a new music video out for their latest single, What A Man Gotta Do, and like their previous video for Sucker, this one too costars all three Mrs. Jonases. In the video for WAMGD, with the help of their wives Priyanka Chopra, Danielle Jonas, and Sophie Turner, Nick, Kevin, Joe recreate scenes from Risky Business, Grease and Say Anything, which their young fans have probably never seen. But if you’re like me and watched The Circle on Netflix, you too may be wondering where the elusive 4th and 5th Jonas Brothers, Clayton and Steve, are. Maybe they’re unmarried, so they’ve been kicked out of the band. I guess wives are the new purity rings.
Much like the original Instagram diarrhea tea warrior Jameela Jamil, Sophie Turner also has a big problem with Instagram influencers who push laxatives disguised as tummy-flattening teas and shakes. And just like Jameela before her, Sophie decided to let everyone know how stupid she thinks Instagram diet culture is by making a little #sponcon parody video.