Category: Sonic The Hedgehog
Open Post: Hosted By Ugly Sonic In The “Chip ‘N Dale: Rescue Rangers” Movie
We all thought Ugly Sonic The Hedgehog was a fever dream thought up by some weird internet people (seriously, Sonic has a deranged, thirsty fandom online. Don’t look it up). But alas, it was real! After unveiling HUMAN TEETH Sonic to the public, the world said, “Put it back in. It’s not done yet!” For once, the loud terrified outcry of social media made a difference and Paramount Pictures changed the character design into something less haunting and in need of dental care. But Ugly Sonic has returned to grace our TV screens and nightmares!
The “Sonic The Hedgehog” Movie Did Not Flop At The Box Office
In a surprising turn of events, Sonic the Hedgehog did extremely well at the box office over the weekend. The movie stars Jim Carrey as Dr. Ivo Robotnik (am I the only one who didn’t know Dr. Robotnik’s first name???), James Marsden as Tom Wachowski, and the voice of Sonic, Ben Schwartz. And the reviews aren’t as awful as people thought they would be (it has a 64% on RT). Not to mention that Olive Garden’s business probably grew 1000% over the weekend from James Marsden’s character being such an OG whore.
A Less Demonic Sonic Is Featured In The New “Sonic The Hedgehog” Trailer
Sonic The Hedgehog was originally scheduled for a November 2019 release but Sonic’s appearance in the first trailer was so disturbing and wrong, it was chased off the internet and told not to come back until it had taken a long hard look in the mirror. Jeff Fowler, the movie’s director, took the note and delayed the release until February 14, 2020 so Sonic could get a digital makeover. It was kind of like that TV show The Swan, and America voted that Sonic was too ugly to live. Now that the bandages are off and the swelling has gone down, Sonic is ready for his closeup!
The New And Improved “Sonic The Hedgehog” Is Going To Need A Little More Time In The Oven
From his weird humanoid child’s body to his dirty white hands with visible fingernails, the CGI Sonic The Hedgehog from the upcoming film of the same name, was a flop right out the gate. People hated it, and many offered helpful suggestions to the filmmakers on where they’d gone wrong. In a surprise twist, the movie’s director, Jeff Fowler, announced that he heard the feedback and that Sonic is headed back to the drawing room for a makeover in advance of the movie’s scheduled November 2019 release, causing 1.5 million (and counting) Game Of Thrones fans’ heads to explode. However, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Sonic’s makeover is going to take a little longer than expected. Turns out you can’t just take a 10 pound shit and shove it in a 5 pound bag. You’ve got to start over, either by taking a smaller dump, or getting a bigger bag.
The New “Sonic The Hedgehog” Is Getting A CGI Makeover After Everyone Hated His Look
Sonic The Hedgehog did not need to be made a movie. And I say that as someone who played a lot of the video games and enjoyed them–even the poorly-reviewed ones! But this movie version of Sonic is one piece of poorly-reviewed blue dog shit I could never, ever bring myself to watch. I’m not angry for the bastardization of something I once loved, I’m just horrified by that creepy AF demonic “hedgehog”. Its legs? Its legs? Like, at least that Detective Pikachu is cute.
I’m not alone in my Sonic-horror; in fact there was so much reaction to how Sonic looks that the director has announced they’re changing it before the November 8th release date.