Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” Featuring Salma Hayek In The Role Originally Played By Thandiwe Newton
Cast your memory back to February of this year. It was the best of times (somebody gave Nick Cannon a vending machine full of condoms), it was the worst of times (he never used them), it was an age of wisdom (Channing Tatum said he almost didn’t do Magic Mike 3 for the sake of his health), it was the age of foolishness (Thandiwe Newton dropped out of MM3 after reportedly fighting with Channing over The Oscar’s Slap). And because the good and wise times hence have gone unheeded, Nick’s expecting baby #12, and we now have the first trailer for Magic Mike’s Last Dance in which Salma Hayek doffs Thandiwe’s fedora and brushes Channing’s “well-defined six-pack.” It’s as if we’ve learned nothing in all this time, yet somehow, simultaneously, we found the meaning of life. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Magical Michael and his merry band of manly men may just make horny believers of us all.
Thandiwe Netwon Was Spotted Kissing A New Man In LA After Leaving Production On “Magic Mike 3” In London
It would appear that Thandiwe Newton did not end up going to traditional rehab after her abrupt departure from filming Magic Mike’s Last Dance in London last week. Instead, she seems to have opted for some slightly more hole-istic treatment in the arms of a younger man. People reports that days after her husband of 24 years, director Ol Parker, was spotted out and about in London with a helluva a tan line on that finger, Thandiwe was spotted kissing 25-year-old musician Lonr in Malibu. And spare me the “Lonr, I hardly know her jokes!” Lonr, whose real name is Elijah Dias, told Page Six “from the relatively short time I’ve been fortunate to spend with her, I know Thandiwe and Oliver care deeply about the welfare of their children.” And he didn’t even plug an album! So yes, he hardly knows her, but he’s more than willing to Lonr his lips while she deals with this difficult situation.
Yesterday we learned that Thandiwe Newton had “made the difficult decision to step away” from starring in Magic Mike’s Last Dance, the third and presumably last opportunity for Ginuwine to bank some royalties for My Pony. Salma Hayek will be replacing her. Though The Sun reported that Channing Tatum fired Thandiwe after an argument over The Slap at the Oscars got out of hand, her camp insisted that she left to “deal with family matters.” As if The Slap isn’t a family matter for all of us at this point! However, Thandiwe’s apparently got bigger family issues to deal with than merely having to, as we all must, divide her house in two with masking tape, and insist that everybody who thinks Will Smith was in the right live on one side, and everybody that thinks Will was in the wrong, live on the other. According to Page Six, Thandiwe is “likely heading to rehab” for acting “bizarrely” on set because her marriage of 24 years has imploded. Was it the tape? It was probably the tape. At this rate, The Slap’s gonna send us all to rehab eventually.
Thandiwe Newton Has Left “Magic Mike’s Last Dance,” Denies She Was Fired Over A Fight With Channing Tatum About The Oscars Slap
Some fuckery is afoot on the set of Magic Mike’s Last Dance, the Magic Mike sequel, which is currently filming in London with Thandiwe Newton as the romantic lead opposite Channing Tatum. According to Variety, Thandiwe suddenly decided to step down, and Salma Hayek will be taking her place. The Sun reported that Thandiwe was fired by Channing, who is also a producer, after they got into it on set over The Slap at the Oscars of all things, causing the situation between them to become “untenable.” I know Will Smith really put his back into slapping Chris Rock, but damn, I cannot believe that shit is still echoing all the way across the pond! However, The Independent reports that Thandiwe denies The Sun’s report, and, in a statement, said she “made the difficult decision to step away” to “deal with family matters.” Sounds fishy, to be sure. But whatever the case, I’m sure the MM3 costume department took a look at the news circling the water cooler this morning and muttered “we’re gonna need a bigger bra.”
Poet, novelist, activist, and self-satirist Sean Penn recently raised eyebrows when during an interview with The Independent last week, he again expressed his concerns that “men in American culture have become wildly feminized” and that “there are a lot of, I think, cowardly genes that lead to people surrendering their jeans and putting on a skirt.” Remember, I did say “poet.” I didn’t just pull that out of my ass. Sean’s remarks were made in front of his daughter Dylan Penn, who stars in the movie Flag Day which he directed. Naturally, Sean’s getting roasted on Twitter for his remarks, not that you can tell by any change in his complexion. And Thandiwe Newton is enjoying this weenie roast so much she went out, found herself a good sturdy stick, sharpened it to a point, and joined in the fun, tagging Sean and calling him a “jibbering FOOL.”
Thandie Newton is Thandie no more. In a new interview with British Vogue, she declares herself Thandiwe Newton, which is the correct spelling of her name. Thandiwe says, “That’s my name. It’s always been my name. I’m taking back what’s mine.” Thandiwe means “beloved” in Shona, a Bantu language of the Shona people of Zimbabwe. Thandiwe’s mother is the granddaughter of a Shona chief, which makes her, Thandiwe, and her daughters all Zimbabwean princesses. Continue reading