After we were promised that the Cats movie was going to be every layer of insane, and after everyone prepared to throw their pussies against the screen from getting teased with Idris Elba shaking his shit as the mysterious criminal pussy overlord Macavity, the trailer finally hit our eyeballs and souls, and you better grab a gallon jug of holy water and hide the cat nip before pressing play. Because it is a night terror for all your senses. It does not disappoint.
They honestly should’ve waited until August 26 to release this trailer, because that’s International Dog Day, and this hacked-up musical hairball is a gift to canines everywhere. They’re all going to howl with happiness into the air over how Hollywood did catmanity. If this doesn’t cause all cats to finally rise up against us evil humans, I don’t know what will.
The live-action Cats movie continues to add famous humans to its cast, and the lineup is currently a real mish-mash of people. The movie’s got Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift, Ian McKellen, James Corden, and Idris Elba, and Dame Judi Dench. God, that’s like only 1/5 of the cats too (there’s too many cats in that musical). It looks like we can now add Rebel Wilson’s name to the list.
Deadline says that Rebel will play Jennyanydots, the roly-poly lazy by day/slavedriver by night house cat. Jennyanydots’ biography is that she sits around all day long doing jack shit, then when the evening comes, she’s puts mice and cockroaches to work on knitting, crocheting and tap dancing. So she’s pretty much the feline equivalent of Abby Lee Miller.
Jennyanydots was to be played by Dame Judi Dench in the original 1981 London production (she was also cast as Grizabella), but an injury forced her to drop out shortly before opening night. Judi is reportedly playing a gender-switched version of Old Deuteronomy in this Cats film. Rebel confirmed she’s in Cats by tweeting this:
Enjoying cat school! pic.twitter.com/tohLY6a0V3
— Rebel Wilson (@RebelWilson) November 20, 2018
It looks like she’s learned her lesson by not tweeting that she’s making film history as the first plus-size cat on screen. That’s a good thing. You do not want Garfield sending you an angry hate letter written in lasagna sauce.
Last week, the publicity tour for Rebel Wilson’s upcoming romantic comedy Isn’t It Romantic had people thinking “Isn’t she delusional” after she claimed she was the first plus-size star of a rom-com. Of course that wasn’t true, and Twitter came after her. Rebel responded by blocking the people who called her out, which only made things worse. Rebel is now sorry.
Rebel Wilson has done such a bad job managing her latest publicity crisis that’s she’s inspired her own hashtag on Twitter. If you can’t post to #RebelWilsonBlockedMe, are you even trying? Rebel’s troubles began when she appeared on the Halloween episode of Ellen. She was there to talk about her upcoming romantic comedy Isn’t It Romantic . Rebel excitedly noted that she was “first plus-size woman’ to play the lead in a romantic comedy”, which is not true.
Even though Rebel has been known to tell a fib or two, I wouldn’t call that a straight-up lie, maybe it was more of an oversight. Quite a few folks on Twitter, many of them black women and women of color, kindly reminded Rebel that Queen Latifah, Mo’nique and Ricki Lake had all been in rom-coms before her. And here’s where Rebel could have said, “point taken, I misspoke” but that’s not how Rebel rolls. Instead she doubled-down, and got to blocking the haters/information sharers.
Zooey Deschanel, Taye Diggs And Rebel Wilson Are In The Hollywood Bowl’s “Beauty And The Beast” Concert
We’ve barely finished scouring the 2017 live action version of Beauty and The Beast for homosexual subtext and the Hollywood Bowl is already trying to complicate matters further by changing LeFou into a woman in their upcoming live concert. Entertainment Weekly reports that Rebel Wilson will be strapping one on to play LeFou opposite Taye Diggs as Gaston. Sorry Idris, you’ll just have to wait for the inevitable next “re imagining“. But wait, it gets worse! Belle’s about to get reverse She’s All That-ed and will be played by Zooey Deschanel.
Earlier this summer, Rebel Wilson decided to fight Bauer Media, the publisher of Woman’s Day, who published an exposé about her pre-fame life. Rebel sued for defamation and general life-ruining, claiming that she lost big Hollywood roles after Woman’s Day dragged her into a scandal about her real age and name, calling her a “serial liar.” She ended up winning the lawsuit.
Rebel said at the time that she wasn’t doing it for the damages, which is fine, but come on, who doesn’t like money? As it turns out, she will get serious cash out of it.