Category: Jonathan Majors

Jonathan Majors’ Attorney Releases Text Messages From His Alleged Victim To Try To Prove His Innocence

March 30, 2023 / Posted by:

A quick second after the internet got another potent dose of This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things when Jonathan Majors was arrested for allegedly attacking his girlfriend in NYC, his lawyer, Priya Chaudhry, pulled a Johnny Depp by claiming Jonathan is the only victim in all this. Priya Chaudhry claims they have video footage that will clear his name and that the alleged victim took back her allegations. If you’re looking for the supposed video footage that will prove his innocence, then you’ll only find crickets and mothballs out there because that footage hasn’t been released. But Priya Chaudhry did release text messages to Jonathan from his girlfriend on the day of his arrest. And well, I don’t know if it’s the smoking gun that Jonathan’s team thinks it is. It’s more like one of those prank water guns that backfires and squirts water onto your face when you pull the plastic trigger. Because I don’t think these texts are helping his case.

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The US Army Pulls Their Ads Featuring Jonathan Major Who Has Officially Been Charged With Assault And Harassment

March 28, 2023 / Posted by:

Over the weekend, millions of horny hearts across the land shattered into pieces when it was alleged that Jonathan Majors allegedly attacked a woman. The unidentified woman claims Jonathan assaulted her during a physical altercation, a claim Jonathan’s lawyer denied, claiming they have evidence that will prove his innocence and that his alleged victim has recanted. Well, now Jonathan has officially been charged with many counts of assault, and because of this, Jonathan has been discharged from his duties as a spokesperson for the United States Army.

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Jonathan Majors Was Arrested For Domestic Assault And Denies Any Wrongdoing (UPDATE)

March 26, 2023 / Posted by:

In terrible news that probably reflects one of the fastest falls from grace in a while, Jonathan Majors was arrested in New York City. According to the NYPD, he was accused of assaulting a 30-year-old woman in a domestic dispute.  Horrible, scary, and fucked-up stuff. Excuse me while I go watch videos of turtles eating tiny pancakes.

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Here Are Some Of The Looks From The Dueling Carpets From Last Night’s Oscar Celebrations

March 13, 2023 / Posted by:

Two carpets, both alike in dignity

(In fair Hollywood, where we lay our scene),

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where civil shoes make civil rugs unclean.

It’s crazy how those words by William Shakespeare are still as true today as they were in 1996 when we finally understood them thanks to Baz Luhrmann‘s Romeo + Juliet. And this morning, as the sun rose over the detritus of last night’s Oscars celebrations, one carpet emerged victorious and unblemished by the unsightly stains of blood and mud and whatever it was that Fine Ass Jonathan Majors had in his tiny silver sipping cup. For reasons we may only understand after Baz makes a movie about it, after weeks of torrential rain, the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences decided this was the year to break with a 64-year tradition and pull the Red Carpet out from under our feet in exchange for a Champagne Industrial Rug. For revenge, Florence Pugh could barely be bothered to dress for the big event so she just brushed her ponytail to the front and grabbed a beige duvet cover out of the dirty laundry for the Oscars, saving her pink comforter for the Blue Carpet at the Vanity Fair after party.

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