Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For “Magic Mike’s Last Dance” Featuring Salma Hayek In The Role Originally Played By Thandiwe Newton

November 15, 2022 / Posted by:

Cast your memory back to February of this year. It was the best of times (somebody gave Nick Cannon a vending machine full of condoms), it was the worst of times (he never used them), it was an age of wisdom (Channing Tatum said he almost didn’t do Magic Mike 3 for the sake of his health), it was the age of foolishness (Thandiwe Newton dropped out of MM3 after reportedly fighting with Channing over The Oscar’s Slap). And because the good and wise times hence have gone unheeded, Nick’s expecting baby #12, and we now have the first trailer for Magic Mike’s Last Dance in which Salma Hayek doffs Thandiwe’s fedora and brushes Channing’s “well-defined six-pack.” It’s as if we’ve learned nothing in all this time, yet somehow, simultaneously, we found the meaning of life. Light and dark. Hope and despair. Magical Michael and his merry band of manly men may just make horny believers of us all.

So yeah, Thandiwe was replaced by Salma, but they obviously didn’t recast the young Black girl with the British accent who plays her daughter in the trailer. Channing describes MMLD, which is directed by OG MM helmer Stephen Soderbergh, as “the Super Bowl of stripping,” meaning out with the silly, sexy routines we loved in the first two movies and in with the Fosse, Fosse, Fosse. According to Variety:

“I want it to be the Super Bowl of stripping,” Tatum told People about “Last Dance.” “I want dancing like we’ve never been able to do in the other two movies, because we had to be honest to what the reality of that world is, which isn’t great dancing.”

Speaking with Variety, Soderbergh compared the film to Bob Fosse’s “All That Jazz” and said that the touring stage production “Magic Mike Live” served as an influence.

“The movie is sort of a fictionalized procedural on how Mike comes up with the idea of a show — and then the obstacles, of which there are many, to trying to realize his vision of what this new thing could be,” Soderbergh said.

Yaaaas! Procedural minutia is all we’ve ever wanted from a Magic Mike movie! Here’s the trailer.

I’m gonna go ahead and call it now. It was the un-horniest of times.

Pic: YouTube

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