One second after that picture was taken, there were no lemons on that tree and the basket was filled with nothing but lemon bits and juice because they all busted from being so close to the goth sexiness of Cher!
The London premiere of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Making An Unneeded Sequel For A Check went down today, and while one of the movie’s main stars, Lily James, wore a damn ball gown (somebody tell her she ain’t Cinderella for real), the REAL star of the movie, Cher, didn’t even try, because she doesn’t need to. She’s Cher, bitch! (copyright: Chad Michaels) While looking like Kat Von D’s dream wedding officiant, Cher proved to the young hos that she doesn’t need to put on some brand new couture gown to kill bitches. Cher pulled one of her old Witches of Eastwick costumes out of storage, dusted it off a bit and threw it on her body as her hair people took the Hot Sticks out of her mane. And even while working an old rag, Cher still outshined them all.
I mean, even Meryl Streep knew that there’s no point in even trying when Cher’s going to be there, which is why she dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher. But then again even if Cher wasn’t there, Meryl would still have dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher.
When Amanda Seyfried got together with her now-husband Thomas Sadowski, it was under the kind of circumstances that usually lead to gossipy types looking up from their glasses, lowering their voices, and declaring “So, you know…“. They met during rehearsals for the off-Broadway play The Way We Get By in 2015. At the time, Amanda was with Justin Long, and Thomas was with his wife of eight years, Kimberly Hope. Amanda and Thomas reunited a year later to film The Last Word, and by then both were single and ready to mingle with each other. They got engaged six months after they went public. The timeline was suspect, but Amanda says it was honest and no one was cheating.
He looks like if Damien from The Omen got a job at Jiffy Lube. That’s current Hollywood slobber object Timothee Chalamat holding his statue for Best Male Lead for his part as a teenage twink in love with a much older dude in Call Me By Your Name. The Independent Spirit Awards were held yesterday. Variety reports that Jordan Peele’s “white people really ARE evil!” horror/comedy/satire Get Out won for Best Feature and Best Director, and honestly, why is Timothee dressed like a gas station attendant? Surely choosing an outfit for these things isn’t that much of a stressor that you say “eff it” and go with coveralls?
But didn’t they all die in the end?
Universal has announced that they’re releasing a sequel to the film version of ABBA-fest jukebox musical, Mamma Mia!. Deadline says that the entire cast is coming back, which means that Pierce Brosnan might sing again. Please, for all that is holy and good in the world, do not let Pierce Brosnan sing again. He sounded like a dying burro in an iron lung. How Meryl Streep’s character didn’t fling herself off a cliff to escape his singing is inexplicable.
Sneaky wedding haver Amanda Seyfriend has given birth to a baby girl.
People reports that Karen with the meteorological miracle boobs from Mean Girls is now a parent, alongside quickie husband Thomas Sadowski. It must be a relief not to have to smell all of that Thomas Edison stuff now (?!?).
Amanda Seyfried is going to give birth to another human soon, so I guess she and her man, Thomas Sadoski, figured that they should get the whole “married” thing out of the way before they’re up to their eyeballs in newborn slobber, baby diarrhea, nanny applications and pulled-out hair from listening to those selfish balls of neediness whine over stupid shit like being hungry. Thomas, who is also an actor, was on The Late Late Show last night to promote something I’m too lazy to Google and he declared that he is now Mr. Karen from Mean Girls.