Jared Leto Says He’s A Cult Leader Now

August 27, 2019 / Posted by:

In order to have a cult you need to have a charismatic leader. And while the legions of Thirty Seconds To Mars fans, collectively called The Echelon, may be willing to travel hundreds of miles and spend thousands of dollars to follow Jared Leto to Croatia to participate in some half-baked cult themed flash mob, that doesn’t make him a cult leader. While Jared may be cute, he ain’t charismatic. Therefore, there is no cult! This is cult 101, folks!

In case you’re among the uninitiated, TSTM is down to just Jared and his brother Shannon Leto now (their lead guitarist TomoMiličević quit last year under mysterious circumstances, Jared probably positioned his on-stage vanity fans in such a way that his hair kept blowing directly into Tomo’s face). According to PopCulture, TSTM recently hosted a 3-day music festival in Croatia called Mars Island.

Tickets for the event, which took place from Aug. 9-12, started at packages for $995 and sell for as high as $6,499. “Add-on experiences,” such as massages, early entry and tattoos were also available for an additional price.

At some point during the festival, TSTM conducted an elaborate photo shoot which Jared shared on Instagram and Twitter, stating unequivocally that yes, this is a cult. Something a real cult leader would never say.

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Yes, this is a cult 🔺 #MarsIsland

A post shared by THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS (@30secondstomars) on

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A post shared by JARED LETO (@jaredleto) on

Nope, sorry, Juggalos aren’t a cult, and neither is this.

A real cult leader would never have accepted heat exhaustion as an excuse to get out of anything! Had this been an actual cult, Sarah would have been dragged out of the shade by her arm and forced to brush Jared’s hair for a minimum of 100 strokes. TSTM fans may want to believe they’re in a cult, but if your leader’s too busy carefully cultivating a cult aesthetic for The Gram to actually discipline his disciples, then you’re not in a cult. You’re a stan. Maybe try Kanye’s Sunday Service, I heard they’re accepting applications for new members.

As vain and far up his own ass as Jared seems to be, he’d make a terrible cult leader. Yes, he’s doing his best to separate his legions of fans from their parents (money), but he doesn’t have the capacity to do anything of this scale without blasting it all over the internet. I’m sure Jared loves that his Echelon Family think of him as their leader, but they aren’t Oscar voters. This is probably an elaborate plan to nab a trophy for eventually playing himself in the adaptation of Sarah’s future best selling tell-all book I Was In A Cult And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt.

Pic: Wenn.com

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