TVTonight reports that Lindsay Lohan done got herself a new gig. And it pays! Yacht girl season is ending early for LiLo, because she’s been selected to be a judge on the Australian version of The Masked Singer and I can’t wait for her to not know who a single one of the people on the show are because do you think Lindsay Lohan knows Australian C-list celebrities? Do you think Lindsay Lohan will recognize the Australian version of Tori Spelling?
It’s not Lindsay Lohan’s birthday anymore but it’s somebody’s birthday so Lindsay is offering up her flesh once again in celebration of life. Lindsay posted a series of tasteful almost nudes on Instagram captioned with a chess piece emoji and the #ComingBackToMe (followed immediately by a second caption of an “UP” emoji and 2 prayer hands). What could it mean?! Well, when Lindsay teased the release of new music a couple of weeks back, she used the caption #Me. Now she’s #ComingBackToMe. Ergo, ipso facto, I think we can conclude that it’s all really happening, you guys! The Lohanaissance is upon us. Let us rejoice!
Despite not having a job that would require her to fill out a W-9, Lindsay Lohan is hard at work squeezing every last drop of publicity out of her 2019 Lohanaissance. The difficult labor Lindsay’s been engaging in, includes celebrating her 33rd birthday with a tasteful nude posted to Instagram. With her realty show and beach club shuttered for good, and her nemesis Paris Hilton shutting down any hope of her joining a reboot of The Simple Life, Lindsay’s using what Dina Lohan gave her to turn what might have been a bummer year into art.
Entertainment Weekly says that we do not have to suffer through a reboot of The Simple Life, this time starring Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Obviously someone saw their recent swatting at each other and decided that since The Hills had resurrected for at least another season, maybe they would try it with other scripted messiness from the early-aughts. Enter: Paris Hilton. But don’t worry, she can’t do it because she’s too busy running an “empire.”
It’s not all bad news for Lindsay Lohan, apparently. Yes, her “comeback” reality show Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, got shit-canned. And yes, her beach club in Mykonos also closed down, or as she put it–changed locations to Athens. But things are looking up for Lindsay’s once-dead and always-unnecessary music career. Page Six is saying that Lindsay has recently re-signed with her old label, Casablanca Records so she’s found an actual commercially-professional way to release her music and won’t be directing us to her SoundCloud on her Instagram stories every few hours. Phewf.
Well now we know why Lindsay Lohan has been cranking it in the studio. It’s being reported that MTV’s Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club is deader than Dina Lohan’s finances. It also looks like the Mykonos beach club that reality show was based on is also done. Yes, there’s a very good chance Lindsay has lost her show and her beach club in one fell swoop. Hope she saved some of that MTV money (HAHAHA) or it’s back to the yacht girl life she goes!