Category: Lindsay Lohan

Open Post: Hosted By The News That A “Freaky Friday” Sequel Is Officially In The Works

May 11, 2023 / Posted by:

Last year, while Jamie Lee Curtis prepared to bring Angela Bassett to tears at the Oscars and Lindsay Lohan hoped for a lucrative payday in 2023, it was announced they both would be open to a Freaky Friday sequel. Why? I have no idea, but since Disney knows how to get a bag, this sequel is happening. And just in case you’re thinking they may scrap this idea once they realize we’ve already seen this movie just know it is officially in production and coming to our screens very soon.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Showing Off Her Baby Bump

April 26, 2023 / Posted by:

In great news for all parents innocently walking the streets of Moscow with their children, Lindsay Lohan announced last month that she and her husband, Bader Shammas, were expecting a child of their own. LiLo’s family and friends recently threw the first-time mom a baby shower and she shared a snap of her growing fire-bump!

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Lindsay Lohan Was Fined By The SEC For Violating Disclosure Regulations For A Crypto Ad

March 23, 2023 / Posted by:

What do worst Paul brother Jake Paul, Lil Yachty, Soulja Boy, Austin Mahone, Akon, Ne-Yo, and porn star Kendra Lust all have in common? Well, thanks to the genre-bending, quadruple threat and possible bearer of out next Lord and Savior, Lindsay Lohan, they are all just one degree of separation away from three-time Academy Award winner Meryl Streep. CNN reports that Lindsay and her ragtag gang of “business” “associates” have all been charged by the Securities and Exchange Commission with violating disclosure rules while promoting crypto tokens on social media. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can anchor a team of random miscreants like our Lady in the Red.

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Lindsay Lohan Announced She’s Pregnant With Her First Child

March 14, 2023 / Posted by:

The children of Moscow can rest easy tonight knowing that alleged attempted child napper Lindsay Lohan is pregnant with a child of her own. She has announced that she’s expecting her first child with her husband, Bader Shammas. Lindsay’s come a long way since those dark times, and people are asking, “is this a sign that a glorious new day is upon us?” As we know from our scriptures, no Lohanaissance is complete until five things occur, kinda like the seven seals of the apocalypse but more festive, and there are only five. They are as follows:

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The Stars Of The Original “Mean Girls” Were Reportedly Supposed To Appear In The Upcoming Movie Musical, But Talks Have Stalled Over Money

February 23, 2023 / Posted by:

2004 was a much easier time to be a passive-aggressive, petty person: you could wail, “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!” or “she doesn’t even go here!” at anyone you didn’t feel like messing with. Everyone would just laugh and laugh and just pretend you were innocently quoting Mean Girls while swallowing the fact that all involved knew deep down you probably actually didn’t feel like fucking with that person. Paramount+ is currently working on a Mean Girls musical movie based on the Broadway musical that was based on the original movie that was based on a book. Since we’ve hit that point in the availability of new ideas, maybe the old Mean Girls standards will regain life anew. However, original stars Rachel McAdams, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried, and Lacey Chabert were slated to be in the film, but contract talks are allegedly at a standstill because of Paramount+’s “disrespectfully” low-money offer.

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Lindsay Lohan And Pepsi Are Trying To Make Pepsi Milk Happen

December 1, 2022 / Posted by:

And now for something completely disgusting. Lindsay Lohan stars in two new Christmas-themed ads for Pepsi. So far, not gross. I, for one, welcome the Lohanaissance. No, what’s absolutely fucking repulsive is what happens in these commercials. Both Santa Claus and Lilo mix Pepsi with milk and try to convince us it’s delicious! They’re calling it “Pilk”, and, in each commercial, Lindsay utters this perverted line: “That is one dirty soda!” I’ve never been more offended in my entire life.

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