Category: Bong Joon-ho
Festival Goers Are Grossed Out By Having To Give A Saliva Sample To Attend Cannes
We can now add spittle to the list of things the Cannes Film Festival attendees deem to be more repugnant than Roman Polanski. According to Variety, festival attendees arriving from outside of the EU are being required to visit The Drool Tent, or La Tente de Bave, if you will, to provide a saliva sample to be tested for COVID-19 before attending any events inside the Palais. Festival-goers have described the process as “really gross” but then turn around and watch Tilda Swinton in a movie about a woman suffering from “exploding head syndrome,” (via IndieWire) or worse, a movie starring Simon Rex! Yes, old Dirt Nasty himself has a movie at Cannes this year and Roman Polanski does not. The earth is healing.
Mark Ruffalo Might Star In HBO’s Limited Series Based On “Parasite”
Parasite literally JUST won Best Picture at the academy awards so you know what that means: Time for a REEEEEEEMAKE, BABY! What better time to ruin a good thing than immediately after said good thing gets popular. According to Collider, HBO is currently working on a limited series inspired by the movie, and is eyeing Mark Ruffalo to star. The project is still in the early stages but I’m guessing it will be all of the cutting commentary on class, but without all those pesky subtitles and unfamiliar faces. The only silver lining here is that Parasite director Bong Joon-ho and his co-author Han Jin-won will be involved. Vice director Adam McKay is also on board.
Glamour, Thy Name Is Oscars
I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.
Color Me BAFTA: Colorful Looks From The Red Carpet
Just because all of the BAFTA acting nominations went to white people, that doesn’t mean the white people that were nominated are afraid of a little color (not sure we can’t say the same for the BAFTA president Prince William). While some stars like Margot Robbie, who looked like she just came from a beloved aunt’s funeral (with Olivia Colman looking like said beloved aunt), went for basic black, and some like Renée Zellweger and Scarlett Johansson opted for a pastel palette, a few ladies took the opportunity to brighten up the foggy London town night by putting the “u” in colour. Take for example Florence Pugh whose hot pink housecoat doubles as a parachute in case the feds come knocking at the brothel door and she has to make a quick exit out of a 4th story window and hop into the horse drawn carriage waiting below.
“1917” And Joaquin Phoenix Were Big Winners At Last Night’s BAFTAs
2020 was a big year for 1917 which won four BAFTAs last night. That’s what was going on in ENGLAND while most Americans were busy watching JLo get the most out of that Groupon she used for 8 free pole dancing classes to prepare for Hustlers. She was never going to their little awards show anyway! But the lack of Hustlers nominations just meant more for 1917 which won Best Film, Outstanding British Film, Best Cinematography, and Best Director for Sam Mendes. It also picked up wins for special visual effects, sound, and production design. Parasite won for Best Film Not In The English Language and Best Original Screenplay by Han Jin-won and Bong Joon-ho. Another big winner was Joaquin Phoenix who won Most Tweeted About Acceptance Speech for Leading Actor For Joker, and Hardest Working Suit.
Bong Joon-ho Says Spike Lee Movies Taught Him How To Curse In English
With the Oscars just around the corner, Awards Season is furiously fiddling its way to climax. There are so many awards going on right now it’s hard to keep track. I feel bad for Parasite director Bong Joon-ho, who keeps getting nominated for shit he’s probably never heard of before. I mean, this is a guy who gloriously shaded the Oscars by calling them “very local”. But still, he is dutifully making the rounds. Last week the African American Film Critics Association Awards were held, and Joon-ho accepted awards for best screenplay and best foreign film for Parasite. During his acceptance speech, Joon-ho gave a special shout out to Spike Lee for helping him learn how to curse in English. All I can say is thank GOD he didn’t learn it from watching Quentin Tarantino movies.