“They’re never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream… Joaquin transforms all his girlfriends into being holistic, vegan, spiritual and into saving the world.”
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP! That’s my red-flag warning sensor going the fuck off. Joaquin “transforms” his girlfriends? I’ve always said don’t you ever change for a man. Especially one who looks like he was lost in the woods for a decade. And what the fuck is mainstream about marriage? Only half of couples even succeed at it!
The Joker is the role Jared Leto was born to play. I mean, The Joker is basically just a trolling prankster with an enormous ego who’s kind of hard to look at, right? Jared’s got that in spades! Maybe that’s why he’s excited about getting his very own Warner Bros. Joker movie. According to Variety, Jared is going to star in and executive produce a standalone movie based on his version of The Joker from Suicide Squad.
Some say the ideal Joaquin Phoenix interview is a mix of weirdness, arrogance, unintentional humor, and a spritz of douche. We’re all in luck, because that’s what Joaquin Phoenix delivered when he was interviewed for Interview magazine by Will Ferrell. If you’d like a quick gauge on the Joaquin-y quality of this interview, there’s the fact that at one point he describes children as smelling profoundly of rotten bananas. So here we go!
It’s been reported over the past several months that The Joker will be making at least three films appearances in the near future. Jared Leto was rumored to be on board for a Joker/Harley Quinn spin-off as well as the sequel to Suicide Squad. And then there was the Warner Bros. standalone Joker origin story directed by Todd Phillips and executive produced by Martin Scorsese. In September there were whispers that Warner Bros. wanted Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of The Joker. Leo must have passed to focus on breaking in his latest round of models, because Variety is saying that Joaquin Phoenix is “in talks” to play The Joker now.
I braced myself for the worst when it was reported that very white person Rooney Mara would be playing Mary Magdalene and Joaquin Phoenix would be playing Jesus in a movie. It’s a good thing I did otherwise I might be on my ass with a broken tailbone after watching the first trailer for Mary Magdalene.
Yesterday’s winners for Most Low-Key Hollywood Couple Confirming Coupledom, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx, can go right ahead and step back into whatever secretive hidey-hole they’ve been in, because there’s a new winner in town. The New York Times’ T-Magazine (via Page Six) has revealed that Joaquin Phoenix and not-so-secret lover Rooney Mara are certified roommates with benefits.