To some people, Colin Jost is the visual indicator that it’s time for their regularly scheduled pee break in the middle of a Saturday Night Live episode. To others, he’s Leslie Jones’ unrequited white boy crush. And for the past three years, he’s also been the TV guy who is with Scarlett Johansson. That’s probably because Scarlett Johansson is an extremely famous, internationally known A-list Hollywood actress, and Colin is known to some as the guy who chuckles respectively at Michael Che’s jokes on Weekend Update. Colin recently admitted that he was worried his identity would become exactly what some people saw him as, which to a whole lot of people was, and still might be, Mr. ScarJo.
Before Black Widow was pushed from its original release date of May 1, 2020, to November 6, 2020, Scarlett Johansson did an interview with Parade to promote it. She talked about her life and career and said that she’s made a career out of “being second choice.” Yes, ScarJo is the definition of an underdog and nothing says “underdog” like being the highest-paid actress in the world two years in a row.
Colin Jost, one of the hosts, along with Michael Che, of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live, is thinking about leaving the show after the 2020 election. Because honestly, being Scarlett Johansson’s date to awards shows is a full-time job. There’s word that Megyn Kelly wants to make a TV COMEBACK, so maybe she should kiss and make up with NBC and take Colin’s spot since what comes out of her mouth is 100% laughable.
I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.
Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost got engaged in May, and now she’s proving that one of the many roles she can play is a fiancé with an enormous brown engagement ring. ScarJo’s engagement ring is reportedly worth $400,000, so if Colin paid for it himself, he’s probably going to hit up Lorne Michaels to ask for extra Saturday Night Live skits to be put in so he can pay off his credit card bill after buying that ring.
After nearly two years of dating, Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost have decided to get married. Congratulations! People reports that ScarJo’s publicist confirmed the news to the Associated Press on Sunday. I’m not surprised that Colin didn’t break the news himself during Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update segment. One host already declared his intention to spend forever with a stunning charismatic star, and that was Seth Meyers and Stefon back in 2013. And there’s really no point in trying to top what can never be topped.