Category: 2020 Oscars
Billie Eilish Thinks Her Oscar Performance Sucked
It’s not easy singing a Beatles song in front of millions of people while images of (nearly) all the recently deceased celebrities flash behind you––but that’s exactly what 18-year-old meme queen Billie Eilish did at last Sunday’s Oscars.
The Visual Effects Society Is Not Pleased With The “Cats” Hate At The Oscars
The Visual Effects Society, the group of people who make special effects in movies, is not happy that everyone keeps blaming the $70 million bomb that is Cats on how shitty the pussies looked. I mean, other parts of it sucked too! So they have a point.
Adele And Adele’s Body Went To Oscar Parties
STOP THE PRESSES! Adele went to a fancy Oscars after-party hosted by Madonna’s manager Guy Oseary. And people had a lot to say about her skinnier body. Again.
Open Post: Hosted By Diane Keaton And Keanu Reeves’ Reunion At The Oscars
Those who wished that Diane Keaton’s Something’s Gotta Give character would’ve gotten a clue and picked the hot doctor instead of 2003 Jack Nicholson got their wish at the Oscars last night when Diane and that hot doctor, Keanu Reeves, reunited to give an award together. There was so much nervous energy between them that my brain bounced between two thoughts: “The open bar backstage must be next level!” and “Those rumors about them fucking back in the day are totally true.”
Glamour, Thy Name Is Oscars
I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.
Janelle Monae Opened The Oscars By Dragging The Academy Over The Lack Of Diversity
Janelle Monae opened the Oscars and performed an opening number either called “Come Alive” or “Oscars So White.” Janelle mentioned the fact that the main acting categories were made up of mostly white people by letting out, “It’s time to come alive… because the Oscars is so white!”