I knew there were secrets galore in hallways of the Today show, but apparently the best-kept secret of all is that Tamron Hall is 48. Alas, that isn’t the news here. In a move that probably has Megyn Kelly wondering why she didn’t go that route instead of, uh, what she did for attention, Tamron let us know that she has a talk show and a new baby coming out soon.
Because Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are the woke royals, sources are saying that they’re planning on raising their first child without any gender stereotypes. That’s right, this kid will be enjoying both Barbie dolls and toy weaponry AKA: the full gender spectrum!
E! News is reporting that SoundCloud rapper, Lil Xan, is expecting an even littler Xan to pop out of his girlfriend’s vagina later this year, proving that no matter how immature you look, or how many bad face tattoos you ruin yourself with, or how many times you get Airbnb noise complaints, or how many times you OD on hot Cheetos, you can still take on the responsibility of fatherhood! What a world! CPS is about to get a lot busier.
Thanks to Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, debuting your new baby’s face on the cover of a magazine for a check and/or maximum attention has truly become a lost attention whore art. But Andy Cohen is bringing it back and has posed with his dream baby for the cover of People Magazine. That loud wail you hear is Anderson Cooper crying out silver fox tears, because here he was thinking he was Andy Cohen’s dream baby forever. And yes, Andy’s 1-week-old son Benjamin Allen Cohen is giving me eyes that are saying, “Hate on my dad all you want, but you know you can’t hate on my magnificent natural bowl cut, bitch!”
There was a salty time in my life where I would have followed up that headline by making a crack about the baby gerbiling its way into Richard’s heart, but it’s snowy and beautiful today. I’ll be nice. Ish. Richard Gere made us all scratch our heads last year when he broke news with a Dalai Lama Instagram post that his wife, 35-year-old publicist Alejandra Silva was pregnant. Richard is 69 and apparently trying to compete with Larry King for oldest mofo at a college graduation. Alejandra just gave birth, and…it’s a boy!
In December, aspiring gay sugar babies and boy toys in the Tri-state area all crossed “Be Andy Cohen’s Kept Boy” off their list of goals to achieve in 2019 after finding out that a baby was moving into Andy Cohen’s apartment full-time and will be living there for at least 18 years. Only this baby is an actual baby. Andy announced that he hired a surrogate to carry the heir to his reality shit show empire, and that kid is now here to live a life of gazing at Uncle Anderson Cooper’s glorious silver locks on Barry Diller’s yacht and dodging wine glasses thrown by Housewives at reunions.