A Woman Claiming To Be Prince’s Long-Lost Sister Wants A Piece Of The Pie
That “Really, bitch?” side-eye and smirk is the only response I need.
The last time I wrote about the whole “Prince not having a will” situation, I said that it didn’t seem like it would get that messy. Well, to quote anybody who has ever taken advice from me, “Michael, you were wrong, bitch!” Prince didn’t have a will, so Minnesota law states that his entire fortune has to be split up between his 6 surviving siblings. They’ve been in probate hearings the past few days with the special administrator of Prince’s estate, Bremer Trust bank, and Harvey Levin must have the ability to shape-shift into a fly on the wall (or one of the siblings called his ass), because TMZ says that his sister Tyka Nelson stormed out of a meeting on Friday.
A source says that Tyka Nelson believes she should get more than 1/6th of Prince’s estate since she’s his only full sibling. Tyka’s cut may get even smaller. TMZ says that a woman named Darcell Johnston filed documents in Prince’s probate case that claim she’s got sexy purple nymph blood running through her veins. According to Darcell, she’s the long-lost secret half-sister of Prince and they have the same mother, but different a different dad. Apparently, Prince’s family didn’t know about Darcell until a few days ago.
The Fan Who Amy Schumer Called Out On Instagram Says He’s Been Getting Death Threats
Yesterday, we learned that Amy Schumer doesn’t like when you take her picture without asking permission first. Amy proclaimed on Instagram that she wasn’t going to take pictures with fans anymore after a fan got a little too aggressive and “scared the shit” out of her in Greenville, SC over the weekend. Amy threw up his picture online and claimed that he hissed the words “no it’s America and we paid for you” in response to her asking him to stop. Well, that fan has come forward to tell his side of the story and he says it didn’t happen like that. He’d also appreciate if the rest of Amy’s fans would stop coming for him on social media.
Jennifer Hudson Unknowingly Dragged Herself On Twitter Over Not Getting A Tony Nomination
If there was some kind of gay off-track off-stage betting place that specialized in betting on the Tony nominations, I would’ve gone in and put all my money on Hamilton for everything. I would’ve made a profit, because the Tony nominations were announced this morning and to the surprise of absolutely no one, Hamilton swept that bitch up and then some. Hamilton got a total of 16 nominations, which broke the record for the most nominations in the history of the Tonys. So basically, the Tony ceremony is going be nothing but the cast of Hamilton standing on stage in costume as people throw dozens of trophies at their feets.
But other productions were also nominated including the revival of The Color Purple: The Musical with Jennifer Hudson as Shug Avery. The Color Purple got 4 nominations and 2 of those went to JHud’s co-stars (Cynthia Erivo and Danielle Brooks aka Taystee from Orange is the New Black). JHud got nothing. JHud congratulated her co-stars on Twitter, but when one of her followers said she was snubbed, she shrugged. JHud isn’t surprised because she was only hired for her STAH POWER! She quickly deleted her response, but Yahoo! got a screen shot of it:
Pimp Mama Kris read that as, “You don’t need talent, just a famous name to be on Broadway,” and submitted head shots of all of her hos to the casting department of Hamilton.
JHud already has an Oscar and a Grammy, so she’s an E and T away from joining the EGOT Club. If she really wanted a nomination that bad, it would’ve been really easy to get one. All she had to do was crash the stage during a performance of Hamilton and sing like three lines. She would’ve easily gotten a nomination, because like I said, Hamilton got nominated for everything.
If you haven’t seen them already, all of the Tony nominations are after the cut. #TonysSoHamilton!
Open Post: Hosted By Bette Midler’s Long Lashes Of Elegance
There’s no better way to FINALLY end our never-ending Meth Gala overdose coverage than with The Divine Miss M who ruled the party last night in an ensemble made by Marc Jacobs. On anybody else, that head/neckpiece would look like it was covered with teeny tiny bunny poo dipped in black glitter and those eyelashes (by Suzanne Bartsch) would look like armpit hair, but on Bette Midler they look like exquisite works of HIGH ART. Bette was done up like she was about to play the First Lady in a 1960s movie about the future.
I bet those gorgeous lashes were pretty functional too. They probably swatted away the glares of hate that shot out of Kanye West’s beauty supply contacts over that joke Bette made about Kim Kartrashian on Twitter. Bette wins again!
I Guess That Pretty Much Answers The Question: “Is Kerry Washington Pregnant”
When two sources “confirmed” that Kerry Washington had another baby growing in her belly yesterday, I made a joke that Kerry would confirm it herself by posing on the red carpet of the Met Gala with her hand placed on her stomach. And last night Kerry Washington hit the Met Gala red carpet with her hand on her stomach. Although I almost didn’t notice that hand because I was too distracted by that purple hair. Mon Dieu (splashes self with holy water), that hair! I am so conflicted. It’s not permanent (Instagram tells me that those are extensions), so that’s good. It sort of looks like the kind of fake hair you’d find on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which makes me want to pour myself a hot mug of penicillin. On the other hand, it looks like it was found on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which means it’s 100% pure fake hair perfection.
I’ve known some pregnant people, and one thing I’ve gleaned is that sometimes being knocked up makes you do some crazy things. Case in point: the gorgeous black lace boudoir ensemble Kerry is wearing. I feel like non-knocked up Kerry wouldn’t wear that. But knocked up Kerry? Sure! The more black lace the better. Or maybe this is Kerry’s way of paying tribute to Prince. If Prince designed maternity clothes, I’m almost positive that’s what he’d make.
Kerry didn’t exactly do much with the technology theme, but there were a few people who tried. Let’s start with Demi Lovato.
Why Aren’t There A Bunch Of Dropped Panties On The Floor?
Everyone must’ve kept heir vagines bare last night and didn’t wear chonies, because as soon as the Met Gala co-chair Idris Elba hit the carpet, panties should’ve dropped like Carly Fiorina introducing our “next president” Ted Cruz. Either that or all of those famous assholes were too stuck on themselves to notice hotness on the carpet.
Idris led the Hot Dudes in Tuxes parade, which included Alexander Skarsgard, Rami Malek, Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones, Tom Hiddleston, Paul Rudd, Jack Huston and Colin Farrell, who looks like he actually let someone spray the layers of grease off of his body with a garden hose. None of those dudes really played with the theme. I wish that at least one of those tricks took a page out of Madge’s thirsty ass playbook by wearing something like this:
Elegant, demure and totally ON THEME!