Why Aren’t There A Bunch Of Dropped Panties On The Floor?

May 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Everyone must’ve kept heir vagines bare last night and didn’t wear chonies, because as soon as the Met Gala co-chair Idris Elba hit the carpet, panties should’ve dropped like Carly Fiorina introducing our “next president” Ted Cruz. Either that or all of those famous assholes were too stuck on themselves to notice hotness on the carpet.

Idris led the Hot Dudes in Tuxes parade, which included Alexander Skarsgard, Rami Malek, Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones, Tom Hiddleston, Paul Rudd, Jack Huston and Colin Farrell, who looks like he actually let someone spray the layers of grease off of his body with a garden hose. None of those dudes really played with the theme. I wish that at least one of those tricks took a page out of Madge’s thirsty ass playbook by wearing something like this:


Elegant, demure and totally ON THEME!

But Zayn Malik stuck with the theme by wearing the arm part of an off-brand generic Iron Man costume sold at Big Lots:


That also looks like some kind of kinky sex toy you’d wear if your piece is into robot fisting. You better spray your parts with some WD-40 before going down that dark path or else you may end up with rust poisoning of the b-hole.

And here’s more of the dudes of the Mess Gala including the pieces I mentioned above as well as Jared Leto (looking like the douchiest silent movie star of the 1920s) and a man the photo agencies say is Calvin Klein but may actually be a wax puppet who got a skin graft from an oily zombie.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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