A whole bunch of employment lawyers might have heard that and started prepping for the wrongful dismissal suit of a lifetime. Meanwhile, any famous person whose marriage ever bit the dust over a nanny and a snake of a husband just nodded like, “Okay, tell me more.” But it’s not exactly like that, at least according to Amy Schumer herself. She didn’t just fire her doula simply because she was too busy hotting-it-up around Amy’s house to find the time to take care of Amy’s baby. No, it all comes down to self-esteem, which Amy says she didn’t have enough of to handle a pretty post-partum assistant.
Back in July 2020, Procter & Gamble hired Amy Schumer to appear in an “edutainment” (ad) campaign for Tampax, America’s most popular brand of tampons. Two years later, there’s a national tampon shortage. The streets run red with menstrual blood! P&G’s explanation? Amy Schumer’s commercials were so amazing that she’s the reason for the lack of supplies. Huh. So the next time you go to the drug store for an emergency tampon run and are greeted by empty shelves, blame Schumer!
Amy Schumer was so “triggered and traumatized” by the Oscars Slap, that she’s still experiencing random bouts of hysterical blindness. That is the only way I can explain why she chose to wear this look to the Met Gala last night. “Gilded Glamour?” More like, “I’m at a funeral and my shoulders are too slopey to keep this garment on my body… Glamour.”
Just when you thought everyone was done talking about the 2022 Oscars, namely: Will Smith, and everything that went along with that (like the fact that Will can’t get jiggy with the Oscars for a whole ten years). But then Amy Schumer pops up and reminds us that she too had her own Oscar moment that apparently won’t die. And according to Amy, her little bit with Kirsten Dunst and her husband Jesse Plemons went over so poorly with the audience at home, that Amy became the target of major hate, including death threats.
While watching Amy Schumer tell jokes at the Oscars, some caught a case of déjà vu. Because a few of Amy’s monologue jokes sounded just a little too familiar, and they let it be known that they suspected Amy of being guilty of joke-stealing. But during an appearance on last night’s Watch What Happens Live, Amy said she’s not guilty of stealing anything, so the accusations can stop. Or, at least let the accusations be re-directed to the writer that wrote her Oscar jokes.
Amy Schumer Shared A “Joke” About Alec Baldwin’s “Rust” Shooting That She Wasn’t “Allowed” To Tell At The Oscars
Artists take their pain and trauma and create art with it. That’s what they’ve always done. And nobody, and I mean nobody, was more “triggered and traumatized” by The Slap Will Smith delivered during last Sunday’s Oscars than Amy Schumer. So naturally, she gets first dibs on cracking jokes about it in her comedy show. The only other person with a stronger case for first dibs is The Slappee himself, Chris Rock. But gentleman that he is, he let her go first since she’s a delicate flower for whom “processing” and “unpacking” in private would be too taxing on her feminine constitution. So while Chris eschewed discussing The Slap in his recent show, Amy took a more direct approach toward healing. At a show over the weekend in Las Vegas, Amy shared a joke that the Academy wouldn’t let her tell about Alec Baldwin shooting and killing Rust cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. Amy truly is the Picasso of pain, and I’m not saying that just because the audience’s eyes were probably sliding all around their faces willy-nilly from looking at her sideways. It’s just that I shudder to think of what type of off-color jokes she’ll tell once she enters her Blue Period.