Arnold Schwarzenegger Says He Would Win If He Ran For President
The presidential election is THEE reality show of America. But instead of winning a prize of 100,000 USD and the title of next drag superstar, you get a shiny nuclear button that has the capacity to devastate millions of lives. Also, the secret service gives you a cool new nickname. That’s the beauty of these United States! Any Joe Schmo can lead the free world if they’re popular enough. Well, almost anyone. The right to rule America is only reserved for citizens born in the US. And apparently, this is the only criterion stopping Arnold Schwarzenegger from becoming number 47.
Kourtney Kardashian Announces She’s Pregnant With Her First Baby With Travis Barker
The cackles from Satan were extra loud around Los Angeles yesterday because a member of the Koven, Kourtney Kardashian, announced another Kardashian spawn will soon be upon us. During Blink-182’s show at the BMO Stadium last night, 44-year-old Kourtney Kardashian announced that she’s pregnant with 47-year-old Travis Barker’s baby by holding up a sign in the audience that read, “Travis I’m Pregnant.” Say what you want about the Kartrashians (and we do ), but IN THIS ECONOMY and IN THIS JOB MARKET, they are keeping the nanny industry alive! So this is excellent news for nannies who need a job and also have the patience to stand there as it takes Kourtney forty-five minutes to drool out the words, “Don’t… feed… them… su… gar.”
Pete Davidson Is Being Charged With Reckless Driving After Crashing Into A Beverly Hills Home
The verdict is in! After crashing his Mercedes into a Beverly Hills home back in March after, Pete Davidson finally got his long-awaited slap on the wrist. Pete’s getting charged with reckless driving, which can possibly result in a $1,000 fine, a knock on his driver’s license, and, worst case scenario, a sentence of up to 90 days in jail.
Birthday Sluts
KJ Apa (26)
Stitches (28)
Kendrick Lamar (36)
John Gallagher Jr. (39)
Mickey Guyton (40)
Arthur Darvill (41)
Jodie Whittaker (41)
Venus Williams (43)
Krayzie Bone (50)
Paulina Rubio (52)
Will Forte (53)
Michael Showalter (53)
Pic: Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images
Jason Patric (57)
Erin Murphy (59)
Greg Kinnear (60)
Thomas Haden Church (63)
Bobby Farrelly (65)
Jon Gries (66)
Mark Linn-Baker (69)
Joe Piscopo (72)
Ken Loach (87)
Simone Battle (1989-2014)
M.C. Escher (1898-1972)
Night Crumbs
Despite The Flash being called one of the best superhero movies ever made, it’s gotten mixed reviews, and it’s not exactly lighting up the box office. It made $9 million on Thursday, and the trades are guessing it will bring in around $70 million this weekend. But since it had a budget of about $220 million, it reportedly needs to make at least $550 million worldwide to break even. Well, if Warner Bros. is worried, there’s one easy way to fix this shit. Since many nerd nipples got hard over the fact that Michael Keaton as Batman is in this, I say just quickly CGI out Ezra Miller and leave only the Batman parts. They can re-title it The Flash Without The Trash. Instant mega box office hit! – Variety
It took 21 years for soap opera icon queen Susan Lucci to win her first Daytime Emmy. Well, it’s taken even longer for La Lucci to get her second Daytime Emmy, but she’s finally getting one in the form of a Lifetime Achievement Award – TVLine
A Source Says Sami Sheen Might Be Calling Herself A “Sex Worker” Just To Bother Her Dad, Charlie Sheen
Last summer, Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen’s oldest daughter, Sami Sheen, proved herself to be a total waste of nepo baby privilege when she joined OnlyFans at the stroke of turning 18. Now, she’s celebrating her one-year milestone of posting bikini pics by posting a TikTok where she called herself a “sex worker.” According to a source who spoke to People, the self-appointed title is “causing a lot of drama” amongst her parents, and she might just be doing it to get under her dad’s skin.