Of all the weeks to release the first trailer for a Woody Allen-esque movie about an older Hollywood filmmaker preying on a young woman and her equally-Hollywood dad who is only sort-of worried about it all, maaaaaaaybe this shouldn’t have been that week. But regardless, the first trailer for Louis C.K.’s new film I Love You, Daddy was released yesterday.
Aaron Carter must have an Entertainment Tonight hotline phone installed in his bathroom which he uses every time he takes a shit (always while listening to John Tesh’s seminal album Sax On The Beach) because they’ve got another hot exclusive straight from the horse’s mouth.
Poor Chloe Grace Moretz can’t catch a break. She gets fat-shamed by some twentysomething d-bag on set when she was only 15, and now Aaron Carter is using rerun pick-up moves to get her to go to Olive Garden with him. Chloe was too young for the West Side Story battle of the 90s: Backstreet Boys v. N’Sync. But girlfriend was around for “Aaron’s Party,” and apparently she really wanted to be that honey over there: per the Hollywood Reporter: Continue reading
Poor Chloe Grace Moretz has been through some shit. She dated Brooklyn Beckham, which must have meant mucho time at Victoria Beckham and that soccer player’s house running hours upon hours of vocal exercises to keep the Posh Voice Box in check… you know, to make sure she says “mAyjAh” with just the right inflection. You didn’t think I meant singing, did you?! Hahahaha, you’re so nice, dear reader. She also got dragged by Kim Kardashian for basically saying Kim should spend more time teaching girls a viable future is through math classes and not hawking nude selfies and eyelash extensions through Instagram or Snapchat or however the fuck it is a Kardashian makes a koin.
The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.
Last week, Vulture senior editor Kyle Buchanan tweeted a picture from Cannes of a “questionable” billboard promoting an animated film called Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarfs. It features a thin Snow White and a thick Snow White with the tagline: “What if Snow White was no longer beautiful and the 7 Dwarfs not so short?” Rude! I’m sure there are some people who would consider Alex Borstein in cartoon form to be quite beautiful.