President Obama Brought The Funny At His Last White House Correspondents’ Dinner
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to reflect upon the numerous jokes and humorous lines our departing President made last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It was, of course, his last one and he and his team made sure that whoever follows, will have a tough act to follow, comedy wise – including the host for the night, Larry Wilmore, but more on that later. President Barack Obama not only addressed the upcoming election and everything surrounding it, he also got in some good ones about the celebrities that were there.
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The lady with glorious hair like a fluffy peroxide cloud who let it be known that she wanted Warren G to take his ass out of the stadium, far, far away from her precious ears!
During a Cubs game at Wrigley Field in Chicago on Friday, celebrity guest Warren G partook in the 7th inning tradition of getting the crowd to sing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” But as soon as Warren G started, it became damn clear that he was about to slaughter the hell out of that stupid song, and the crowd began to hit his face with a wave of beer-soaked boos.
Warren G didn’t really know the words and he delivered up some “drunk dad making all of the little kids cry with his singing at a BBQ/baseball-watching party” shit. But the true star of Warren G’s train wreck sing-a-long is the lady in the hot headband.
I’ve thrown the video after a cut, because it’s doing the devil’s work by auto-playing!
Birthday Sluts
Joanna Lumley (70)
Madeline Brewer (24)
Jamie Dornan (34)
Katya (34)
James Badge Dale (38)
Darius McCrary (40)
Julie Benz (44)
Wes Anderson (47)
Kelly Bensimon (48)
D’Arcy Wretzky (48)
Tim McGraw (49)
Judge Marilyn Milian (55)
Ray Parker Jr. (62)
Glen Ballard (62)
Dann Florek (66)
Paul Teutul Sr. (67)
John Woo (70)
Rita Coolidge (71)
Judy Collins (77)
Open Post: Hosted By Mary Carey For Vice President
DListed goddess and constant source of inspiration, Mary Carey, put herself forward as a potential nominee for Donald Trump‘s running mate yesterday. She unveiled a poster she had made featuring her and Donald as well as why she’s a qualified candidate. Personally, I think she seems very qualified just based on how high she can get that leg up!
Donald is new to the politics game, so he should thank his lucky stars that someone with as much experience as Mary has even considered running alongside him. Carey’s first foray into politics was in 2003 during the California recall election that ended with Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming governor of California, but clearly Mary should have won. She then announced her bid in 2005 for Lieutenant Governor of California but had to drop out for personal reasons. That’s way more know how in the political field than Donald has shown! And her list of qualifications is far more extensive and eloquent than his. My personal favorite is the bullet point that she is “good against Hillary because [she’s] used to girl on girl.”
Let’s hope Donald does the right thing and chooses our elegant flower as his VP hopeful. Here’s more from her very demure announcement:
Pics: Wenn
A Star Is Born Maybe Update: Lady Gaga And Bradley Cooper Had Dinner
I spoke of cruelty earlier, the cruel possibility of people sullying Prince’s holy name by messing with and releasing music that was locked away. Just like the fear of pain at the sight of a doctor’s needle, it is the anticipation, the threat, that is the worst part. And now we’ve been threatened again. Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga were seen having dinner together last night in L.A.. Which can only mean one, horrific thing… not that I’m speculating or being unfounded…
The last time we checked in with Bradley Cooper’s sure to be definitely good and not a disaster remake of A Star Is Born, all of our silver screen dreams were shattered because Warner Bros. told Beyonce to go call Becky with good hair when they saw how much money she wanted to star in this mess. Knowing that, the only logical conclusion we can come to about why BCoop and Gaga dined together is because he’s now wooing her to be his leading lady. Right? What else could it be. Nothing.
A Star Is Born starring Beyonce and directed by BCoop would have probably been the most incredible thing to ever get nominated for a Razzie, but I’ll take Lady Gaga in it. It’s going to take it from Obsessed 2: Ali’s Revenge to an art school production of Auntie Mame starring a cruise ship drag queen. And here’s Mr Director and his maybe Actress arriving to dinner on a motorcycle:
Pics: Splash
Justin Bieber Shaved Off His Dreads
Somewhere out there, Ghouliana Rancic is cackling and saying, “I may not have won the war, but this battle is mine!” And while I hate to side with her, I will gladly share in her joy today. The toddler that just won’t go to his room no matter how many time you scream “TIME OUT!“, Justin Bieber, made eyes roll and nearly get stuck up there when he stepped up his bad boy game by getting dreads. Well, the world is a little less douchey today because he shaved them off.