E! put out a teaser trailer for the rest of the season of Keeping Up With The Korrosion Of God’s Light, and of course it’s all about the Khloé Kardashian/Tristan Thompson/Jordyn Woods drama. The trailer should be studied in science classes, because the Koven members somehow defy the laws of science by “crying” even though their tear ducts were filled with fillers years ago.
If there’s something you can count on, it’s Kris Jenner loving all her children equally. LOL JK–which one is making the most money for her the day you’re reading this? It’s that one. Kris showed off her boundless love for her familia over the weekend by throwing up an Instagram post dedicated to all the mothers. It included mention of every one of her daughters except noticeably Kendall Jenner was left out. Yeah, Kendall well you aren’t a mother so why would you be included? …Only when you have birthed a child which Kris can make 10% from, then you can get included. Kim Kardashian‘s surrogates about to get more of a shoutout than you are. Put in the work!
Just when you thought the Kardashian/Jenner Koven couldn’t get anymore tacky they go and take this group photo. There is so much going on here like:
– Kris Jenner‘s beat-down, platinum Kate Gosselin-meets-Gwen Stefani wig.
– Her boyfriend Corey Gamble‘s limp-dick-ballsack bowtie version of the vibrant pussy-bow.
– Kim Kardashian West‘s wet-looking gold-lamé+tinsel, half-mermaid Saran-wrap look.
– Kanye West fully falling asleep behind them.
– Kendall Jenner‘s singular slicked-down middle part with a dark-twist/crown of orange feathers.
– Kylie Jenner‘s chambermaid’s sexy nightie and matching synthetic lilac wig straight from MapOfBeauty.
– Travis Scott‘s “we get it you’re straight so you don’t know what a goddamn theme is” half-assed attempt at looking like a well-dressed G.I. Joe action figure.
This is a mess, but what else would we expect?
If you think Madonna is going to great lengths to suck the youth out of unsuspecting souls, Anna Wintour is having a peak “Hold my beer” moment. Sure, there are plenty of stodgy editors who have jumped ship at Conde Nast, but Anna just keeps gaining power. Her latest strategy is a video series For Vogue where she answers questions from peasants, er, readers. The latest chapter had someone asking Anna what she thought about the Kardashians and their style. Surprisingly, Anna didn’t show how she felt by opening the window to her office and jumping out of it.
Don’t laugh at Caitlyn, she’s not that off. I hear that Oscar winner Olivia Colman almost wore the elegant pussy bone-baring dress that Kendall wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Olivia definitely would’ve worn it better.
I’m sure it’s taken you several hours to move from the headline to here since your eyeballs flew off to the next county from rolling so hard, so I thank you for sticking with us. At last night’s Vanity Fair Oscar party, Caitlyn Jenner was posing on the carpet with her 22-year-old sugar baby, Sophia Hutchins and decided to give an argument on why Kendall Jenner, who is about as alive as an Oscar statue, could get one in the future.
The clusterfuck which keeps on giving, The Fyre Festival, may be giving us a bit more tomfoolery in the form of a bunch of models having to answer legal questions while in a courtroom under oath. Someone please ask Bella Hadid about her cosmetic surgery, we’ll finally get the truth!