Khloé Kardashian Once Turned Down A Proposal From Tristan Thompson And Her Sisters Are “Concerned” That’s She’s Gotten “Very” Skinny
Watch out, world! Khloé Kardashian is officially too skinny for
prime time streaming in the background at a budget nail salon that reeks of acrylic glue and economic exploitation. The most chimeric of all The Kardashians, the one with the kaleidoscope face, has been told by MULTIPLE SIBLINGS that they’re concerned that she’s gotten “really skinny,” much to her feigned shock and surprise. This coming from the same family who she claims once told her she was too fat for “their brand” while doing promotion for her now-defunct solo reality hosting gig, Revenge Body. Well, Kris Jenner better prepare to eat her hat because it turns out Khloé CAN take a note after all. And it’s not like Khloé’s going to help her eat it. Do you know how many calories are in an average chapeau?
Last year, 43-year-old Kourtney Kardashian and 46-year-old Travis Barker got engaged in a private and subdued ceremony that totally wasn’t filmed for the Kardashians’ reality show. Travis apparently went to the grave of Kourtney’s late father, Robert Kardashian, to “ask” for Robert’s blessing, and no word if a Ouija board was involved or not. But while Travis sought the blessing of Kourtney’s late dad, I guess he didn’t ask Kourtney’s children, and if he did, he probably would’ve gotten a FUCK NO from them. Because they apparently weren’t happy about their mom getting engaged. You’d think anyone would be an upgrade from Scott Disick but sometimes it’s a wash.
The Kardashians really, really, really want us to watch their new reality show, The Kardashians, on April 14 on Hulu. Huh. That’s the anniversary of another frozen rich person disaster: the sinking of the Titanic. The family’s latest group interview is with E! News’ Daily Pop, and in it Kendall Jenner revealed that mom Kris Jenner is pressuring her to have a baby. Makes sense. She’s the only one who hasn’t contributed to the next Jenneration of money-making Kardashians. Get with the program, old maid!
On Monday Kendall Jenner took to Instagram Stories to post a video of her pouting and looking dead behind the eyes. “Um, how is this different than every other time this ‘supermodel’ gets in front of the camera?”, you may be asking. Answer: her lips have blown up. To, like, Kylie Jenner levels of swollen. So what’s the reason behind this new look? A filter? Contouring? Fillers? Or did bitch pull a Bee Movie and make out with a yellowjacket?
You’ll have to forgive Kanye West and his recent shenanigans. This is his first divorce and he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do! And nowhere in the Divorce For Narcissistic Dummies book Marilyn Manson gifted him does it explicitly say not to pluck a juicy-assed Instagram model who looks remarkably like your estranged wife from obscurity, dress her up just like your ex and then bring her to a listening party at Nobu Malibu for your album that is guaranteed to not be ready on 2/22/22 as promised, no matter how cool that date sounds. So he’s really just out here improving and doing the best he can.
Kendall Jenner is an attention whore by blood and so when she went to a friend’s wedding last year, she wore a dress that looked like it was on the Shein site under the 90s stripper tab. But Kendall and her friend are speaking out! And they say Kendall’s dress was fine with the bride so we should all get over it.