After everyone saw that video from 2014 of Solange going all Basement Baby Ali (“float like a moth ball, sting like a bee“) on Jay-Z in an elevator after the Met Gala, you’d think that people would make sure to be polite to her and keep their shady side-eyes to themselves. But apparently, one brave soul was rude to Solange at the Met Gala on Monday night. Instead of checking them with her flying fists, Solange checked the bitch with a blind item on Twitter. She tweeted a shout out to a member of the You So Artsy Club who was about as annoying as a hungry mouse nibbling at your toes when you’re trying to sleep on an egg crate in the basement.

Shout out to when you think you all "artsy and shit" , but your just rude and annoying lol

— solange knowles (@solangeknowles) May 3, 2016

The first response under Solange’s tweet is this:

Now we know. RT @solangeknowles: Shoutout to when you think you all "artsy and shit" but your just rude and annoying pic.twitter.com/4vKGoCURY5

— ⚪️ Beige Bitch ⚪️ (@alialmoore) May 3, 2016

Yeah, Taylor Swift probably rules the craft table in her playroom and nobody can make a pasta shell jewelry box like her, but does she consider herself “arty“? Yeah, she probably does. I don’t think it’s her, though. My first guesses were Kanye West or Lady Gaga. But you know, maybe there will be a major M. Night Shyamalan-approved PLOT TWIST in this riveting saga. Maybe Solange got really drunk at the Met Gala and when she went into the bathroom, she noticed a shifty trick in a try-hard outfit throwing her rude looks. And well, it turns out that shifty trick in a try-hard outfit throwing her rude looks was her own reflection in the mirror! When Solange finds out the truth, her reflection is totally going to get it.

Pic: Wenn.com

You know it’s time to sit back and take a good long look at your life choices when your name appears in the same sentence as the words “making fun of an autistic airport janitor.” But for now, 50 Cent is just in the apology phase of his self-reflection. Yesterday, Michael linked to the story of how 50 Cent found himself in such a mess, but I’ll go over it quickly. 50 Cent recently released a video of himself following a 19-year-old janitor named Andrew Farrell through the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky Airport and LOLing at how high he appeared to be.

The only problem was that Andrew wasn’t high; he’s actually autistic and has hearing issues. If that wasn’t enough of an “Oh, shit…” moment for 50, Andrew’s family later threatened to sue his ass for $1 million. The last thing 50 needs is another name to add to his already too-long list of people he owes money to, so he put on his saddest face and apologized to Andrew….via a statement to Page Six. Well, it’s good to see that 50 Cent is still just as classy as ever.

“While the incident at the airport resulted from an unfortunate misunderstanding, I am truly sorry for offending the young man. It was certainly not my intent to insult him or the disability community, which is a source of great strength in America. I have apologized personally to him and his family.”

According to Page Six, Andrew’s family would be more than happy to sweep that $1 million lawsuit talk under a rug if 50 would offer a “sincere” apology to Andrew. I don’t know if releasing a statement to a website is sincere enough for them, so I guess we’ll wait and see. And by “wait and see“, I of course mean wait and see how long it takes 50 Cent to take a selfie on a pile of cash stacked to resemble a janitor’s cart while crying fake Instagram tears about how he’s too broke to cut a check for $1 million to an autistic kid.

UPDATE: TMZ says that Andrew’s family have accepted 50’s “I’m sorry“, but he probably shouldn’t put away his wallet just yet. Instead of $1 million for them, they want 50 Cent to cut a check for $10,000 to Autism Speaks. Which is sort of ironic, considering that if this situation has taught us anything, it’s that 50 Cent should definitely keep his mouth shut.

Pic: Wenn.com

I used to have the Uncle Miltie version but it kept snagging on my shoulder. – OurMissC

Upvote winners (it’s a tie!):

She better stop playing with it, she is going to get an ear full. – watagump1.

They’ll go perfectly with her pearl necklace. – Shadeball

Pic: Tosh.0

João Paulo, the blogger from Brazil who easily won the title of Best Dressed at the Met Gala and he didn’t even go to the Met Gala!

For about two years, 23-year-old João Paulo from Salvador, Brazil, has been re-creating the look-for-nothing versions of expensive ass ensembles worn by celebrities and he posts his creations on Instagram and Facebook. But on Monday night, his genius reached to masterpiece levels when he took on and conquered some of the looks of the Met Gala.

On the left, is Met Gala co-chair and leader of the Mall Madness crew Taylor Swift wearing a Louis Vuitton look that probably took dozens of hours of meetings to put together and cost 2000 times more than what all of my internal organs would get on the black market. (“So 2000 pennies then?” – my doctor) On the right is the Brazilian DIY couture master in a luxurious knock-off of Taylor’s look. João posted that pic the same night as the Met Gala, so I’m guessing that he has that Out of This World power that allows him to stop time by touching his fingers. Because his ensemble looks like it took hundreds of hours to create using stuff found in the recycling bin.

The fit is impeccable and in the words of Project Runway judge Neeeeeena Garcia, it looks expensive. João made foil from restaurant leftovers look like fabric weaved from crushed diamonds and black electrical tape look like the hide of an ebony unicorn. Not to mention, that his fried wig looks more luscious than Taylor’s mop. The Coco Chanel of Brazil easily won that battle.

After the cut are more looks that João took on:

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Lance Bass (37)
Alexander Gould (22)
Little Boots (32)
Erin Andrews (38)
Kimora Lee Simmons (41)
Mike Dirnt (44)
Will Arnett (46)
Ana Gasteyer (49)
Randy Travis (57)
Sharon Jones (60)
Lynne Spears (61)
Oleta Adams (63)
Pia Zadora (63)
Michael Barrymore (64)
Jackie Jackson (65)
Mick Mars (62 or 65)
Russi Taylor (72)
Katherine Jackson (86)

Pic: J-14 via Buzzfeed

When Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston dance together, they look like malfunctioning animatronic turkeys in peril – HuffPo

Drake’s name is not Adele or Beyonce and he still managed to sell at least 800,000 copies of his new album in one week – Lainey Gossip

Star says that Emma Roberts isn’t getting major endorsement money because the public doesn’t like her. Auntie Julia really needs to take Emma under her wing and teach her the art of keeping your assholeness on the down low while making America think you’re their sweetheart – Celebitchy

For some reason, Parasite Hilton is dressed like a low-ranking mobster’s mistress circa 1994 – Drunken Stepfather

The big-tittied blond model that Is Kate Upton got engaged – The Superficial 

Jesus Jugs, formerly of the Real Housewives of Orange County, is a regular trampoline park mogul – Reality Tea 

DILF alert! – Towleroad

“Yeah, I’m not really talking to anyone, I’m just pretending to so the paps can get these ass shots while I look like I don’t know what’s going on.” – Bella Thorne in these pictures – Popoholic

While watching this video I thought to myself, “50 Cent is totally going to get sued for money he claims he doesn’t have.” – Hollywood Tuna

And he probably will – TMZ

Dr. Phil is producing an Amber Rose talk show. That’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to make with my fingers – Jezebel

Here’s Michael Weatherly’s hairy nipple knobs, because why not? – SOW

Sinead O’Connor also accused Arsenio Hall of taking on the difficult brown with Eddie Murphy AND Prince – Boy Culture  

Our Lady of Cheetos will finally get the respect she deserves as an artist at The Billboard Music Awards – Starcasm

Okay, but poke at me when a cable channel starts running reruns of Beverly Hills Teens at night – The Berry 

Adele is a stage 10 BumbleBey – Popsugar

Eddie Murphy added another member to his growing child army and he gave this one a name that sounds like the name of a lost Teletubbie – Just Jared