Everyone can pull off their veils, get up from their knees and snuff out their prayin’ candles, because the sun is shining again now that Kelly Ripa has bravely returned to the job that pays her $15 million+ a year. God is great!

Kelly Ripa went back to work at Live! with Kelly and Michael this morning after she took a little time off to deal with Disney and her co-host of 4 years Michael Strahan doing her dirty. Kelly felt disrespected when ABC and Michael didn’t tell her beforehand that he’s leaving the show she’s been on FOREVER to do Good Morning America full-time. There were also rumors that ABC doesn’t really care about Live!, even though it’s the second highest-rated syndicated morning show, and want to push it aside to make way for an extra hour of GMA. Kelly got into those rumors as well as the rumors that she and Michael hate each other’s faces so, so much.

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Hilaria Baldwin’s father is a fame whore too. – OurMissC

Upvote winner:

Geriatrick – Shadeball

Pic: Break

Angel Jones from Fish Police!

“Fish Police” sounds like a segment on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but for a short moment in 1992 it was a cartoon on CBS. Fish Police was kind of like an underwater Dick Tracy with a touch of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It was based on a comic about a fish detective named Inspector Gil who investigates crimes and battles the mafia in an underwater metropolis. CBS aired Fish Police during the nighttimes, so they were hoping it would be their The Simpsons. It wasn’t. It was canceled after only 6 episodes and buried in an underwater grave. Those six episodes live on YouTube, though.

Angel Jones was the Jessica Rabbit/Breathless Mahoney of Fish Police. When she wasn’t crooning out velvety smooth musical notes as the headliner of the Calamari Club, she was trying to seduce Inspector Gil. They pretty much wanted to suck each other’s fins off. JoBeth Williams and John Ritter did the voices for Angel and Inspector Gil, so Fish Police was pretty much the highlight of their careers!

Fish Police is long gone but Angel’s influence over beauty and glamour long lives on. Angel’s eyebrow situation looks like two tadpoles gracefully diving deep into a pool of elegance, her fish tits are spectacular and her all-natural lips are the lips that tricks try to get with help from a syringe full of melted plastic. Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna so want to be Angel Jones, but sadly for them, they possess about as much glamour as a canned sardine. Angel Jones, they’ll never be!

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Pic: Pinterest

Because of these pap pictures, a rumor that Diane Kruger is knocked up was born. She’s probably not growing a baby in her body, but if she is, that fetus is having a good old time getting drunk on tequila. But who cares about that! Let’s get into Joshua Jackson looking like the kind of smelly dirt bag whose got crap underneath his finger nails, uses his spit as lube and will guzzle down a Natty Ice while hitting it from the back. I’ve never been more attracted to Pacey in my life! – Lainey Gossip

Kenya Moore should drink some of that shower water since she’s obviously thirsty as hell – Reality Tea

Speaking of thirsty bitches, Dean McDermott re-proposed to Tori Spelling with a ring they supposedly can’t afford during a trip to Paris they supposedly can’t afford either. On another note, HER FACE! – Celebitchy

These staged bikini pictures of a pregnant Megan Fox lack the naturalness and organic charisma of her last staged bikini photo shoot – Drunken Stepfather

I think that Prince turned down The Fifth Element because he didn’t want to wear a costume that made it look like he was shitting out a Muppet head. That would ruin his sexy – The Superficial  

Jennifer Hudson and Harvey Fierstein are doing Hairspray Live! – Jezebel

In my mind, Phoebe Price is preparing for the reboot of A League Of Their Own – WWTDD

Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato pulled out of North Carolina too – Towleroad

Be still my heart, I think I’ve fallen in love with another natural rose from England! – Hollywood Tuna 

Kate Beckinsale’s top says, “bedtime,” her skirt says, “Dancing with the Has-Beens rehearsal,” and her shoes say, “my tia at the club” – Popoholic

I feel like I type these words every other week: Jessica Alba is in a bikini again – The Nip Slip 

Saturday Night Live thinks they can make Saturday Night Live better by getting rid of some commercial breaks – Pajiba

Kelly Clarkson’s baby looks like this – HuffPo

Jaden Smith is serving up a dash of Michael Jackson, a tablespoon of Fresh Prince and 10 cups of UGH – Just Jared 

Kevin Jonas put his peen in Danielle Jonas for a second time and by “put his peen in Danielle Jonas” I mean jacked into a plastic cup – Popsugar

This dog is my nightmare dog – The Berry 

Pic: FameFlynet

Morrissey posted a written tribute to Prince on his fan site True-To-You, and being the cat lover he is, you’d think that he’d slap at Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness for tearin’ up so many pussies. But Morrissey applauded Prince for not eating animal stuff. Morrissey was also mad that in England, Prince’s death was overshadowed by THE QUEEN’s 90th birthday extravaganza. Morrissey’s Prince tribute isn’t so much a Prince tribute as it is slap down against the British royals. It’s as if Morrissey got on the stage and said, “I am here to pay tribute to the beloved Prince,” before pulling out a replica of THE QUEEN’s crown and then shitting on it. It’s 100% Morrissey, it’s 100% messy and I love it. You really can’t spell Morrissey without M-E-S-S-Y. It’s after the cut.

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