Category: Zayn Malik

Gigi Hadid’s Newly Remodeled Manhattan Apartment Is “Breathtaking”

July 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Leave it to the wealthy to test the limits of taste. Take for example Gigi Hadid’s newly renovated $5.82 million Manhattan apartment where the kitchen cabinets are inlaid with macaroni art and the fruit bowl on the counter is filled with pool balls instead of apples. It’s as tasteless as it is tooth-obliterating. Gigi’s apartment looks like the “luxury” version of Bella Thorne’s Trippy Twins Fun House, and if I wasn’t afraid of contracting Hepatitis C from Other Bella’s place, I’d stay there over Gigi’s confusing “I have too many publicists in my ear lying to me about what’s ‘on trend’” abode. At least Other Bella’s place looks lived in (and fucked in, drugged in, and explosive diarrhea-ed in). There’s nothing honest about Gigi’s pad, least of all the heavily padded invoice her decorator probably wrote out using the giant novelty pen that sits in the corner next to the powder room which is wallpapered in already puckering New Yorker magazine covers.

Continue reading

Yolanda Hadid Confirms Her Daughter Gigi And Zayn Malik Are Expecting

April 30, 2020 / Posted by:

Yesterday, we posted about how 25-year-old Gigi Hadid got pregnant with 27-year-old Zayn Malik’s child and the child is reportedly a girl. When the news broke, all the pretty plastic people parted their perfectly plumped lips and let out sexy little gasps. Soon, they would have a new Gorgeous Baby Messiah, with cheekbones carved by Gorgeous Jesus himself! Gigi and Zayn pulled this maybe-whoopsie after reconciling in December after a year-long break.

Today Gigi’s mom, Yolanda Hadid, formerly of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, chronic Lyme disease survivor, and Mohamed HadidDavid Foster’s ex-wife, has confirmed the news that her baby is having a baby, and the baby girl is due in September! She spilled the news to a Dutch TV show (Yolanda’s Dutch, she didn’t just throw a dart on a map of the world). Continue reading

Gigi Hadid And Zayn Malik Are Expecting A Baby, And She May Have Had A Gender Reveal Party On Her Birthday (UPDATE)

April 29, 2020 / Posted by:

In case you couldn’t tell from the sound of Directioners screaming themselves dead over another member of the future One Direction reboot group A Different Direction being born (even though Zayn Malik isn’t in that shit anymore), TMZ says that 25-year-old Gigi Hadid is pregnant with a baby she made with 27-year-old Zayn. But this isn’t a quarantine baby from boffing during the lockdown. Gigi is apparently 20 weeks along.

Continue reading

Gigi Hadid Called Jake Paul “Ugly” and “Irrelevant” While Defending Zayn Malik

February 23, 2020 / Posted by:

In “Parents, come and get your fucking brats” news, there is a new feud to roll your eyes to this weekend and it comes in the form of Jake Paul vs. Zayn Malik vs. Gigi HadidNow, I’m old. I had to Google Jake Paul because I thought he was another person with the same job description and completely forgettable, punchable face. Turns out, I was thinking of his brother Logan Paul, who, surprisingly, has yet to enter the ring of this all-star mud-slinging match. Logan is the douche who filmed a suicide victim, and Jake is the douche who filmed himself doing the #BirdBoxChallenge while driving a car, among other shit. 

Once I got over the initial embarrassment of mistaking Logan for Jake, I did my damndest to follow along to the vicious tweets, complete with eight-grade level name-calling, to try to understand what these children were fighting about. I say, what “they” were fighting about…as usual, Zayn just sat there and ate his food while his ex-girlfriend turned rumored new girlfriend, Gigi, stood by her man and defended his legacy as a “respectful king” (ugh, fucking hell).

Continue reading

Harry Styles Shaded Zayn Malik On “Saturday Night Live”

November 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Many-nippled wonder Harry Styles was the musical guest and host of this past weekend’s Saturday Night Live, and he wasn’t bad, which is saying a lot considering what usually happens when non-actors host that show. Harry also found time to shade his old One Direction group member, Zayn Malik, in his opening monologue, and inspired many to fill Sara Lee’s Instagram comments with thirstiness. But they’re cool with it.

Continue reading

Zayn Malik Got Pissed Off On Twitter, Possibly Because Of Gigi Hadid

April 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Something is eating Zayn Malik and he’s letting out his frustration on the Internet. Zayn hopped on his Twitter account a couple of days ago and let loose about… something, it’s not really clear what. But it is clear he’s mad. And do go assuming that it’s his ex-girlfriend Gigi Hadid, because that will only piss him off more! Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >