Lupita Nyong’o Did Effie Trinket On Acid, Janelle Monae Had A Blinking Boob, And Zendaya Was Cinderella At The Met Gala
Some Met Gala outfits relied on pure glamour while others relied on equal parts ‘The Fuck?’ and ‘OMG!’ Three attendees this year, Janelle Monae, Lupita Nyong’o and Zendaya put their spin on the theme “camp” brought more drama than twenty-four hours of watching Bravo without a bathroom break.
So you’ve got a movie coming out. Time to pick out an outfit for the premiere, get a pedicure, and ruffle the feathers of a marginalized community. Now, I hear you, “but I AM part of a marginalized community”. Well boo fucking hoo, it doesn’t matter! Now go get yourself dragged up and down Twitter! Gina Rodriguez is the latest celebrity to find herself on the back foot after being accused of having a history of espousing anti-black sentiment. And when she finally took steps to address the backlash head-on, many people felt she gave a masterclass on Performative Tears For The Stage And Screen.
Janelle Monae has a new album, Dirty Computer (aka the first words that a Genius Bar tech says after opening my laptop and seeing what I’ve got saved on my desktop), coming out in April, and yesterday she released the first two songs and videos from it. Janelle put out Django Jane, and Make Me Feel, which sounds like a B-side written by a pre-Jehovah’s Witness Prince when he was a proud raunchy ass horny ho and not afraid to let the world know it. In other words, I love it.
“Annihilation” Stars Natalie Portman And Jennifer Jason Leigh Responded To The Whitewashing Criticism
Oopsie daisy! Somebody let a book reading nerd into a press junket for the upcoming sci-fi movie Annihilation starring Natalie Portman and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Much to their surprise, said nerd from Yahoo Entertainment let Natalie and Jennifer know they they just received lifetime memberships into club Hollywood Whitewash! And it’s a terrible club where they serve grocery store sushi and Justin Timberlake and Macklemore are in constant rotation.
Entertainment Weekly released a ton of pictures from Marvel’s newest cinematic nerd Viagra, Thor: Ragamuffinorsomething, and they should’ve put a giant warning on the cover. Because it looks like Thor went down to the nearest Supercuts and got the haircut that every straight guy named Brian or John gets before a job interview. That golden luscious mane is Thor and Thor is that golden luscious mane. Without it he looks like some regular guy wearing a Thor costume from Halloween Town to Comic-Con. Okay, a regular guy with muscles the size of pantyhose stuffed with cantaloupes, but still a regular guy.
I’m no nerd and Thor’s hair is still emotionally upsetting to me. It’s like when Felicity cut her hair. The stocks for brushes and leave-in conditioners plummeted! The only way I’ll be okay with Thor’s basic ass haircut is if we find out that shifty Loki could no longer fight the jealousy he felt over Thor’s gorgeous locks, and one night he cut that mane as Thor slept and made a wig out of it. And Loki better wear that wig throughout the whole damn movie.