Anyone concerned that thrice divorced Jennifer Lopez is making a huge mistake by agreeing to marry alleged serial philanderer Alex Rodriguez can chill the fuck out. When JLo and A-Rod eventually do tie the knot, it won’t actually be JLo’s fourth trip down the aisle. According to People, JLo doesn’t count those first two marriages. By JLo’s logic, they didn’t happen in a church, neither of them lasted more than a year, and she didn’t do it for the right reasons so, ipso facto, she’s practically a virgin.
Most tricks of the Met Gala did not do the smart thing before picking their outfits by consulting true experts in camp like John Waters, the ghost of Divine, Angelyne, Elvira, Harald Gloockler, Tan Mom, or even Phoebe Price. It seems that many of them went to the same place: CHER. There was so much Cher-a-likes that the damn theme should’ve been Cher, who even performed (more on that in a second). Celine Dion also slathered herself in Cher, but it worked for me, because she’s Celine Dion, and also it looked like her head was getting attacked by a gay tumbleweed. Celine was asked what camp is to her, and her answer was so hilarious and wrong that I think it counts as camp…
Jennifer Lopez is not here for your opinions on her engagement to or her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. Sure she puts that shit out on full display with couple endorsements and professionally photographed engagements, but mind your business! Yes, A-Rod has a history of being a down and dirty dawg, but he has changed! He is not the man he was before and JLo knows it! So the Jose Cansecos of the world can just eat it.
Page Six is reporting that A-Rod knows what he’s about to get into. Sources have been talking and they’re saying that A-Rod has been told that JLo is Jenny From The Block if the block is on High Maintenance Street. But yet, A-Rod still put a ring on it because he is going to do JLo right and not “mess her around.” As opposed to his other relationships, who were lower maintenance so it was like, “Yeah, go ahead and mess around, girl!”
While malevolent forces are really out here trying to sour Jennifer Lopez‘s recent engagement to former baseball player, Alex Rodriguez, she is not going to let them. Yes, Jennifer has seen all of the (incredibly fast appearing) cheating rumors which began spreading from Jose Canseco‘s Twitter account and has now begun taking new life. And she apparently doesn’t care.
It’s been about 30 minutes since Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez got engaged, but SURPRISE: we already have our first cheating rumor. Damn girl, that was fast. At this rate she’ll be pregnant by noon and they’ll be divorced by midnight. It’ll be a new record! Jennifer Lopez is a true star: breaking musical records and also divorce records. Continue reading