A biopic about the late Elvis Presley is currently in the works, courtesy of Baz Luhrmann and Warner Bros., because there haven’t been nearly enough movies and TV shows about Elvis. Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter say that Baz and Warner Bros. are currently testing several actors for the part of Elvis, and they have a list of the five actors who could potentially shake their hips and mumble “Thunkyuh vurry mush” over the deafening sound of teen girl screams.
Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are out promoting Toy Story 4 and blogger BlogXilla wanted to see if they had what it takes to earn their black card. Tom Hanks, who grew up in Oakland, proved that he could at least apply for a black card while Tim Allen awkwardly sat there, wondering what the hell was going on. Kind of like me watching Wild Hogs. Tim Allen was probably hoping to talk about Trump or anarchism, anything but Spades!
Seen above laughing at their own baby naming joke are Myspace underwear model Tom Hardy and his wife Charlotte Riley, who have rolled out the
red carpet spit-up rags in welcoming their newborn son, whom they have reportedly named after a character in Forrest Gump. I wish like hell that I could report that they named their son Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Hardy, but “sources” say that Tom and Charlotte went boring on us and have instead named their child Forrest Hardy after Forrest Gump himself.
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has yet to find anybody pristine enough to host their little awards show and it’s getting down to the wire. According to The Hollywood Reporter, there have only been 2 times in Oscar history where there hasn’t been a host in place by January 1. Jon Stewart was announced as host on January 5, 2006 and Whoopi Goldberg‘s 4th time hosting the show was announced on January 7, 2002. So there’s still a few days left before a new record is set, but as Kevin Hart proved, even if they pick someone today there’s still the chance that our network of citizen detectives will find out that, say Tom Hanks, once ate a baby on a dare. Then they’d be out a host and we’d never get to see Bosom Buddies rebooted for Netflix.
Contrary to popular belief, Tom Hanks is anything but the nicest guy in show-biz. He proved this recently when he rolled through an In-N-Out in Fontana, California, and purchased artery clogging burgers and fries for everybody in the restaurant. Sure, those people were going to eat that food anyway, but Tom made sure their eventual demise would be hastened by at least 10 milliseconds. Hanks, for nothing, Tom!
One second after that picture was taken, there were no lemons on that tree and the basket was filled with nothing but lemon bits and juice because they all busted from being so close to the goth sexiness of Cher!
The London premiere of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Making An Unneeded Sequel For A Check went down today, and while one of the movie’s main stars, Lily James, wore a damn ball gown (somebody tell her she ain’t Cinderella for real), the REAL star of the movie, Cher, didn’t even try, because she doesn’t need to. She’s Cher, bitch! (copyright: Chad Michaels) While looking like Kat Von D’s dream wedding officiant, Cher proved to the young hos that she doesn’t need to put on some brand new couture gown to kill bitches. Cher pulled one of her old Witches of Eastwick costumes out of storage, dusted it off a bit and threw it on her body as her hair people took the Hot Sticks out of her mane. And even while working an old rag, Cher still outshined them all.
I mean, even Meryl Streep knew that there’s no point in even trying when Cher’s going to be there, which is why she dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher. But then again even if Cher wasn’t there, Meryl would still have dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher.