Category: Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks’ Niece Had An On-Camera Meltdown On The Reality Show “Claim To Fame”

June 27, 2023 / Posted by:

Move over, Chet Hanks! There’s a new humiliating relative of Tom Hanks in town! The Oscar winner’s niece, Carly Reeves, had a full-blown on-camera meltdown on the ABC reality show Claim To Fame, bellowing in nepo baby agony after being booted off the show on the season 2 premiere, screaming, “I should have more camera time!” and went on a frenzied tirade so chaotic it made Chet look well-adjusted.

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Tom Hanks Admits To Being A Jerk Sometimes On Movie Sets

May 9, 2023 / Posted by:

In his five-decades-long career, America’s alleged sweetheart Tom Hanks has managed to propel through the years with an almost unscathed public image- with the exception of occasionally being dragged on “pizza gate” Twitter and, of course, helping to create his fail son , Chet Hanks. But what’s this? Tom recently soft-launched the notion that (Gasp!) he can sometimes be a diva!? Honestly, we know, Tom. Henry Winkler already warned us!

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Here’s The Trailer For Wes Anderson’s “Asteroid City” Featuring Twee Pastels Galore And A Silver Fox Tom Hanks

March 29, 2023 / Posted by:

If you’ve got a SAG card in your wallet right now, then congratulations on the release of the trailer for your upcoming movie Asteroid City! I mean, it seems like every working actor in Hollywood has been crammed into Wes Anderson’s latest cinematic twee overload. Actually, let me correct myself. It seems like every working actor in Hollywood is in this except for Wes Anderson’s longtime muse Bill Murray. Along with Bottle Rocket, Asteroid City is the second Wes Anderson movie that Bill is not in. Bill was originally cast but dropped out before filming, and it had nothing to do with him being accused of sexual harassment on the set of Aziz Ansari’s movie (Aziz’s movie started filming nearly a year after Asteroid City finished filming.) Bill had to quit that twee bitch after he caught COVID-19, and it looks like he was replaced with one of the first famous types to catch COVID , Tom Hanks, who is giving you silver retro daddy in Asteroid City. I have a feeling that Tom Hanks has been an undercover silver fox for many years and was dyeing his hair. I’m sure his mop instantly turned totally grey the first time he Googled his son Chet Haze.

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Eric Andre Calls Chet Hanks “Emotionally Disturbed” And “Dangerous”

March 15, 2023 / Posted by:

Anti-vaxxer and current stand-in for Kanye West, Chet Hanks, was labeled “emotionally disturbed” by comedian Eric Andre in his recent interview with Rolling Stone. If the guy who pretends to shit on the floor in front of his talk show guest thinks you’re fucked up, you must be a real sicko. While being interviewed by Rolling Stone about his upcoming sixth season of The Eric Andre Show and simultaneously doing back-to-back whippets because he “has a headache,”  Emily Ratajkowski’s one-time piece didn’t hold back when it came to his experience interviewing Chet Hanks. And no one even asked about it…  Eric just got right into it. Apparently, Chet was such a hazard that Eric compared having him on set to the movie set of Rust. Don’t worry, Chet; daddy can text Alec Baldwin for his lawyer’s number.

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“Blonde” Named Worst Picture At The Razzies

March 12, 2023 / Posted by:

It’s OSCUH Day!! Who is going to be crowned prom king and queen of Hollywood? We only have a scant few hours to find out. In the meantime, the Academy Awards’ ugly sister the Razzies has already taken place, so we finally know who got the pig’s blood dropped on them. And the winner is…Blonde! I wonder if Ana de Armas and the film crew told Marilyn Monroe’s grave that they were getting her blessing for making the worst film of 2022.

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Tom Hanks And Robin Wright Will Be De-Aged Using AI Tech In A New Robert Zemeckis Movie

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

Don’t ever let anybody tell you that nepotism in Hollywood is a real issue. Sure, it happens on occasion that some son or daughter of a famous face lands a role based solely on their lineage. But even the staunchest nepo baby apologists, like Tom Hanks, can’t stop the robots from coming and stealing all the good nepo baby jobs from actual hard-working nepo babies. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Tom and his Forrest Gump Jenny, Robin Wright, have booked themselves another ride on the Robert Zemeckis Express to the Uncanny Valley for a movie called Here, in which Tom and Robin will be de-aged “using a new generative AI-driven tool dubbed Metaphysic Live.” And now, because of some computer’s ability to take magical bits and bites out of Tom’s face, his HUMAN BORN son Truman Hanks is out of a job. Can you believe they call this progress? I call it an aberration of the natural nepotistic order.

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