Everyone Was Three Sheets To The Wind On The Red Carpet for The Governors Awards

The Governors Awards are a classy affair, you can just tell by the name. According to The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the GA are “an annual event celebrating awards conferred by the Academy’s Board of Governors – the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and the Honorary Award.” Basically, they are really the precum of the actual Oscars. Which might explain why so many ladies came dressed in nothing but a satin sheet. Nothing shows off precum quite like a satin bed sheet!

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Gena Davis “became the 39th recipient of the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award”, Italian director Lina Wertmüller, who was the first woman to ever receive a Best Director nomination, was awarded an honorary Oscar, and Jennifer Lopez’ breasts should have won the Scotch Double Sided Tape Award for outstanding achievements in fabric adherence.

I’m sure JLo had to keep her arms pinned to her sides for the entire evening. On the other hand, Greta Gerwig’s bed sheet was fitted with sweet satin shoulder straps and an empire waistband to help hold everything in place. Here’s Greta teasing us by almost lifting her bed-skirt to reveal the collection of cat toys and dust bunnies underneath!

Hollywood’s most dangerous woman, Dakota Johnson, threw caution to the wind by stripping the 500 thread count GOTS-certified organic Supima sateen cotton sheet off the Goop family bed for her look. She then tried to catch that wind and sail off to a hidden island where she doesn’t have to share a bed with her boyfriend and his ex-wife. And she’s going to use that pillowcase bra to collect nuts and berries.

Pacey Witter’s new piece Jodie Turner-Smith knows how to rock a fucking sheet. Jodie’s channeled the spirit of Grace Jones (which makes sense since she’ll be playing Grace in an upcoming FX series) with this look. As such, these sheets look like they’ve seen some action, like when you pull a fitted sheet out of the dryer and they have some forgotten underwear that got balled up in the corners. Tired: Cutting a bunch of holes in a sheet to make a Charlie Brown ghost costume. Wired: Sticking shoulder pads under a green satin sheet to make a Slimer ghost costume.

Enjoy some more of the classy looks from Hollywood’s precum ball in the gallery below!

Pics: Wenn.com