Ever since the eternally youthful queen, Cher, was papped alongside and eventually confirmed to be in a relationship with music producer/Amber Rose ex, Alexander “AE” Edwards in November, interests were piqued, and some wondered what a couple with a 40-year age difference (where it’s the woman who’s the old one this time, *le gasp*) could have in common. But, despite the generational gap, it seems as though Cher has found the one her heart wants for the time being and who’s probably young enough and not too far removed from normalcy to know how to take care of ordering her a pizza in these trying times. She opened up about the “ridiculous on paper” relationship on The Kelly Clarkson Show.
If you’re friends with Ed Sheeran, it seems like an unsolicited dick statue may be the new unsolicited dick pic. I’m just going to pretend that Ed’s chums got sick of opening his texts only to find his fiery bush and limp fuck parts, so it was time for him to start thinking outside of the box, which led to this brilliant idea: Ed is known among his friends and acquaintances for having big, hard dicks delivered right to their doorsteps, with Sam Smith being the proud new owner of one of the biggest schlong statues yet.
As she’s proven time and time again, Dolly Parton can absolutely do no wrong. That said, I’m not going to sit here and lie to you about her new slowed-down, chill vibes version of 9 to 5 with Kelly Clarkson and tell you it’s going to ignite a socialist revolution or anything. But it might make some poor nail tech working at the day spa snap after hearing it in heavy rotation for weeks on end and shank a bitch with a cuticle trimmer. Or it might provoke your friendly neighborhood Starbucks barista into throwing piping hot Pumpkin Spice Latte grenades at the next customer who steps up to the counter while talking on their phone. By which I mean the coming revolution will be beyond socialist. It will be a bloody, protracted, civilized society killer that will leave this planet little more than a smoldering husk where humanity once thrived. Hopefully not before I get the little Dolly Parton doggie wig I ordered for my pup off Amazon though. My girl and I are obviously all-in on the 9 to 5 triggered apocalypse, but we’re hardly going to be fighting in the trenches looking like a couple of raggedy Plain Janes. This is Dolly’s societal collapse and we’re showing up armed to the teeth and with a full beat. Come on girls, utopia awaits us in the afterlife!
Yesterday JoJo Siwa declared war on Candace Cameron Bure when she identified her as the rudest celebrity she’d ever met in a TikTok. JoJo gave zero details as to why she thinks DJ Tanner is a rude biotch, but some guessed it had to do with the fact that the 19-year-old came out as gay last year. And, since 46-year-old Candace is a super conservative “sister in Christ” (according to her Instagram bio), maybe God has something to do with it. Sister Candace has yet to officially respond to JoJo’s allegations, but she did post a Bible verse to her Instagram Stories: “Trust the Lord Always,” with a note that it came from Isaiah 26:4. Wait a sec, lemme check my Bible… OK, here it is in full: “Trust that the Lord will punish shit-talking Rainbow Brite lesbians.” Jesus Christ!
Kelly Clarkson’s Ex-Husband Has Finally Moved Out Of Her Montana Cattle Ranch And Bought A Place Of His Own
I don’t know if Kelly Clarkson has a favorite pair of cowboy boots, but if she does I hope they’re steel-toed and were covered in shit when she aimed them squarely at her ex-husband‘s ass and finally kicked that low-life deadbeat off her ranch. Us Weekly reports that Brandon Blackstock has finally moved out of the Montana cattle ranch he and Kelly once shared, but that she bought and paid for, and has moved into a $1.8 million house of his own that Kelly probably also bought and paid for. After months of making outrageous requests for child and spousal support and squatting on her property, Kelly and Brandon’s divorce was finally settled in March with Kelly agreeing to pay Brandon a lump sum of $1.3 million. Sadly, Brandon reportedly had to sell his dog to cover the additional $500K. This is probably why he had the vet tattoo Kelly’s signature on his belly, poor pup.
Open Post: Hosted By Anne Hathaway Beating Kelly Clarkson At Her Own Game On Her Own Show With Her Own Song
Eternal Theatre Kid, Anne Hathaway, is forever That Girl™ when it comes to musical-type shit. This includes any kind of party game involving songs or theatrics. And during a game of Sing That, Name That Tune against Kelly on The Kelly Clarkson Show, Anne immediately recognized Kelly’s own song and sang it before Kelly had a chance. Nobody should have been surprised by that.