Modesty Reigned Supreme On The SAG Awards Red Carpet

January 20, 2020 / Posted by:

I don’t know which Project Runway reject fucked up the bedsheet challenge this badly either. And to think, we were so worried about Lizzo getting her juice all over the folding chairs at The Staples Center, we forgot to worry about potential coochie-contact with the upholstered seats at the Shrine Auditorium. However, Sarah Hyland’s short and confusing floral 4th of July bunting skirt was an outlier. For the most part, the outfits on display at last night’s Screen Actors’ Guild Awards were a lot more conservative, ranging from the tiered ruffles and billowy chiffon of a modest religious sect, to tailored suits. On ladies! Hollywood is confusing.

While modest dress has never been one of the tenets of Scientology, Elisabeth Moss‘s demure gown is roomy enough to hide a plethora of secrets. Just be sure not to tell Elizabeth any of yours. Her clutch is actually a recording device.

If I had to choose a culty religious sect to join, I’d have to go with whichever gothic witchy shit Winona Ryder is selling. She is absolutely going to be holding a seance later where she’s rigged the table to shake and wired all the chairs with electrodes. Watch your jewellery around this one. Note: Seance’s By Winona does not accept American Express.

Also keeping it all the way covered is Patricia Arquette who is fulfilling all my drag king needs with this red velvet tuxedo and power pixie cut. Although with the width of those bell bottoms, I’m not 100 percent convinced this isn’t actually Robin Wright walking around on her knees like Dorf.

Find the best of the rest, and the worst of the thirst, from the SAG red carpet in the gallery below!


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