Awkwafina (born name: Nora Lum) has shown that the best way to avoid being criticized online for past actions is to just leave a social media forum altogether, as she announced that she’s bouncing from Twitter in a message addressing her past use of a “blaccent.” But unlike Chrissy Teigen, Awkwafina isn’t quitting for just a few months, she’s going to be gone until 2024 per the recommendations of her therapist. Hmm… 2024? Is Awkwafina gonna run for President? With or without a blaccent?
Yes, cutoffs. This is a roundtable discussion that included a conversation about cutoff jean shorts as a metaphor for the type of roles a certain actress decided to avoid typecasting early on in her career. Catherine Bach might want to avoid this roundtable, because she’s about to feel very attacked.
The Governors Awards are a classy affair, you can just tell by the name. According to The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the GA are “an annual event celebrating awards conferred by the Academy’s Board of Governors – the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and the Honorary Award.” Basically, they are really the precum of the actual Oscars. Which might explain why so many ladies came dressed in nothing but a satin sheet. Nothing shows off precum quite like a satin bed sheet!
Never mind earthquakes. California was nearly taken out yesterday by the tsunami of fanboy drool created by Marvel Studios announcing all of their upcoming movie and TV offerings at San Diego Comic-Con. Angelina Jolie sashayed out to get that Marvel money and officially joined the cast of The Eternals. Natalie Portman deigned to make an appearance to announce that she’s going to be the new female Thor. Marvel also exhibited their absolute fearlessness when they revealed that they’ve recast Blade with Oscar winner Mahershala Ali. Their security must be aces because Noxeema Jackson is going to show up with an uzi when she hears that she’s not getting any cash from Marvel anytime soon with which to pay off her outstanding IRS tab.
The last time we took a walk around the block on Jump Street, Sony was planning to make a third installment of the 21 Jump Street franchise (23 Jump Street, duh) a crossover event with Men In Black. But according to Collider, that may not be happening because production has already begun on MIB starring Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson, and I guess Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum weren’t invited. That left the 23 Jump Street slot open for Sony to move forward with a female-led version. Now Collider reports that Tiffany Haddish and Awkwafina are both in talks to co-star in what they’ll probably call 23 Boob Street.
But are you surprised? The word “rich” is right there in the title!
Constance Wu showed up to the Crazy Rich Asians premiere in L.A. in a Ralph & Russo gown that looks like the sort of fancy throw pillow I would be warned ten times not to touch while visiting a fancy relative’s house. Although that’s not to say Constance is too bougie for the rest of us; those sequins are giving fancy silver SpaghettiOs realness. And what says “of the people” more than 99-cent canned pasta? Even if they do sort of look like the canned pasta rich people might eat when Jeeves leaves on vacation and they’re forced to use the can opener.