I don’t want anybody to get too excited: The prediction I’m about to make may be premature, as it is based solely on the pretentious Art fumes wafting off of Zoë Kravitz’ recent interview with GQ in which she touches on falling in love with Channing Tatum, the star of her upcoming feminist directorial debut, over their shared passion for Art, not long after the dissolution of her marriage Karl Glusman, and disputes the idea that “nepo babies” are any different from regular babies that go into the same business as their parents. I mean, I obviously hope and pray that we have another Don’t Worry Darling situation on our hands with Pussy Island, but I’m not quite ready to start taking bets. I know the odds are grim, so for now, I’m just floating the idea in case I get the chance to scream, “I TOLD YOU SO!” when, a year from now, we’re all losing our collective shit when Geena Davis shows up late to the Venice Film Festival swirling an Aperol Spritz.
Well, this is embarrassing. Turns out that, despite my reservations and japing, the world really was clamoring for emo Batman! Deadline reports that director Matt Reeves and The Titular The Batman, Robert Pattinson, have both signed on for more pouting and skulking for a sequel, sadly not tentatively titled The Batman 2: Sonata in Darkness Boogaloo. Continue reading
Zoë Kravitz Again Mentions How She Was Told She Was Too “Urban” To Audition For “The Dark Knight Rises” (UPDATE)
Zoë Kravitz is currently starring as Catwoman in Matt Reeves‘The Batman, and she could’ve been part of the Batman-verse years ago. Because back when The Dark Knight Rises was being made a decade ago, Zoë tried to audition for a role. However, she was told no. Why? Because according to some
racists casting people, Zoë was too “urban.” And as we know, the only “urban” casting people like is Urban Outfitters.
The Batman, starring Robert Pattinson as RBattz and Zoë Kravitz as Catwoman, opened this past weekend, and because of its opening box office numbers, Warner Bros. is a little richer today. The Batman ended up breaking a couple of pandemic box office records. Unfortunately, not the record for how many Batman movies is too many Batman movies (besides, the answer to that is: whatever number we were at after the release of 1997’s stupid masterpiece Batman & Robin).
Yes, I know we’re all tired of hearing about The Batman, but have you ever stopped to think how tired Robert Pattison must be of being The Batman? In his second GQ Bat-spread in as many years, Rob has had to wash his face and run a comb through his hair to be photographed and talk about how his Batman is going to be different from previous Batmen. Or, more accurately, this time he’s had to let somebody rub Vaseline all over his face and dunk his head in the toilet and talk about how hard it is to be Batman. Robert says that “even though the world might end” playing Batman is “by far the hardest thing [he’s] ever done.” Oh really, Rob? Try doing it backwards in six-inch heels! Seriously, I would like to see it.
There’s a new trailer out for Matt Reeve‘s The Batman starring Robert Pattison and Zoë Kravitz that includes 20% more Catwoman than the previous trailer, and I’m reeling from what I just saw. I expect Catwoman to have a chic bob and a smokey eye, but not The Batman! But then again, RPattz ain’t your grandfather’s Batman. Or your father’s Batman for that matter. Nor is he your older sibling’s Batman. He’s not even your own Batman from just a couple of years ago. No, RPatz’ Batman is an evolved batperson in possession of a much wider range of emotions, from darkly brooding to glumly seething, but that’s not the only change. Rob’s Batman went to the salon and told his stylist, “give me the Velma Kelly, I’m in the mood for some Le Hot Jazz!”