Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
Nothing sells tabloids in England like transcripts of a wire-tapped phone conversation of the Royal Family or Cheryl Cole breakup rumors (what will her next last name be?!), but the latest round of relationship-on-the-rocks reports may be false…or at least not ready to be announced until some financial settlement is made. Cheryl was rumored to be in “crisis talks” with the father of her baby Liam Payne, and it wasn’t just a crisis of some of the fug fashion he rocks on Instagram. While the word was they were oh-so-close to breaking up, they both arrived to the red carpet of the BRIT Awards tonight in London looking like their usual Mrs. Robinson-and-boytoy selves. Continue reading
Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift! Continue reading
There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.
Calvin Harris, former publicity boyfriend of Taylor Swift and guy who makes music, announced the release of his fifth album called Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 on Instagram yesterday. The video included a list of artists who will make an appearance, and wouldn’t you know whose name happened to pop up between Pharrell Williams and Big Sean? Oh, just his ex-girlfriend’s main enemy Katy Perry.
And that is definitely the look from a swan pool toy who so badly wants to throw itself off of that edge.
A couple of weeks ago, Calvin Harris released what many thought was a Taylor Swift diss track, and for reasons that only her PR Team knows of, she didn’t respond by rushing out her new single: a cover of Hey Mr. DJ called Hey Mr. DJ, Go Fudge Yourself (she’s not trying to get that parental guidance label). But TMZ says that the two julienned pieces of unseasoned cauliflower stalk don’t hate each other anymore. They’re texting each other again and the texts from Calvin don’t say: I h8 U and if we did more than hump each other over our bed clothes I would’ve given you THE CLAP and been happy about it!